Break ups are painful - no matter why they occurred.
But there is something even more painful about a break up when the guy has treated your horribly right? When he has cheated, or was abusive, or a liar, or just plain ole' mean.
So it's no surprise when a woman who has been hurt by such a man, wants to lash out.
If this sounds like you -- many of us have been there before, you are not alone.
You want to purge yourself of the disgust, disgrace and anger you feel about even being involved with him in the first place.
You need to vent! To anyone and everyone who will listen.
So why is a therapist writing an article telling you NOT to vent? Well, there is constructive venting - and then there is character bashing.
And even if your ex is without much character:), the question is do you want to sink to that level? And will getting down and dirty free you from the rage you feel? Probably not.
1.
Bad-mouthing your ex is a waste of your time and energy.
Power you could be using to do something more positive and productive in your own life.
2.
Bad-mouthing is beneath you, and when taken too far can make you appear to be a bit "pathetic" or a "victim".
3.
Bad-mouthing is toxic.
You will be in a negative frame of mind, polluting your own body with thoughts of someone you should put behind you.
4.
Bad-mouthing is rarely used as a real warning to other women.
More than not - it's usually a way to assassinate the ex's character to other people who know him.
5.
Bad-mouthing and venting are not synonymous.
If you have the desire to talk about how you've been treated in your relationship - talk to one trusted person or professional who will not spread what you've said into your "inner circle" of friends, family, and associates.
But there is something even more painful about a break up when the guy has treated your horribly right? When he has cheated, or was abusive, or a liar, or just plain ole' mean.
So it's no surprise when a woman who has been hurt by such a man, wants to lash out.
If this sounds like you -- many of us have been there before, you are not alone.
You want to purge yourself of the disgust, disgrace and anger you feel about even being involved with him in the first place.
You need to vent! To anyone and everyone who will listen.
So why is a therapist writing an article telling you NOT to vent? Well, there is constructive venting - and then there is character bashing.
And even if your ex is without much character:), the question is do you want to sink to that level? And will getting down and dirty free you from the rage you feel? Probably not.
1.
Bad-mouthing your ex is a waste of your time and energy.
Power you could be using to do something more positive and productive in your own life.
2.
Bad-mouthing is beneath you, and when taken too far can make you appear to be a bit "pathetic" or a "victim".
3.
Bad-mouthing is toxic.
You will be in a negative frame of mind, polluting your own body with thoughts of someone you should put behind you.
4.
Bad-mouthing is rarely used as a real warning to other women.
More than not - it's usually a way to assassinate the ex's character to other people who know him.
5.
Bad-mouthing and venting are not synonymous.
If you have the desire to talk about how you've been treated in your relationship - talk to one trusted person or professional who will not spread what you've said into your "inner circle" of friends, family, and associates.
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