Don't get your ex to call you back immediately after the break up.
Unless it is an emergency that involves you or the children, hold back the urge to call your ex or to ask them to call you back.
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Parting of ways is such a painful experience especially if the relationship has been going on for a long time.
There is so much pain to cope with that loneliness and misery becomes constant company.
 Whatever you are feeling immediately after the break up, is the same as what your ex feels.
Acceptance does not come easily and immediately.
You must respect your ex's need to endure the pain and give them time to accept the finality of the break up.
It is easier to get in touch with them again after the acceptance.
You may want to maintain a speaking relationship with your ex after the break up for the sake of the children.
It is however difficult to start communicating with them.
There is always the apprehension that they may refuse to talk with you.
You must have a foolproof plan to get your ex to call you back, in order to open your communication lines.
The children can help you with this in a subtle way that it does not show your motive to get you ex to call you back.
When the children asks for permission to do something or go somewhere, tell them that your ex's permission is needed or that you have to consult your ex first before you can decide.
The children will be the one to call your ex, and your ex will need to call you back to clarify the issue.
The children's needs makes for a good excuse to get your ex to call you back.
But be sure that it is a legitimate need that really needed his attention.
Otherwise the attempt to open communication lines with your ex will be futile.