Many people write to me and ask me what "no contact" is and how do you do "no contact".
"No Contact" is a break up strategy that I learned a few years ago when I went through a break up and wanted the man in question back.
However, "no contact is more about taking care of you, and doing "no contact" does more for you in terms of getting your life back on track.
Many people whose partners break up with them would like to stay in constant contact, and they would even like to be friends.
But I do not feel that this is a good idea.
Being in contact all the time leaves a temptation to ask them to come back to the relationship.
This puts pressure on your ex, and this is exactly what you do not want to do.
You want them to return of their own free will.
Before I go any further with explaining "no contact" I will say that it may not work for couples with children.
If you are going through a divorce/separation or break up and you have children, this strategy will not be as effective.
You can use it but you must keep some kind of contact happening for your children.
Your kids obviously have to come first.
If you were living together, then at the beginning of the break up there will be contact as one of you will be required to move out of the home you are sharing.
After he or she has formally moved out, then you begin "no contact" For couple who do not live together, "no contact" should begin the same day they end the relationship.
However, I realize that most of you reading this article will have had some contact with your ex lovers.
It's not too late to start now, so go to it.
Do not call him or her, do not write, or email and do not text message.
Nothing, no contact means zilch.
You then focus on the business of getting your life back together.
You probably will not hear from your ex for a while as they will probably expect you to chase after them, given they did the dumping here.
However if you do hear from them; here is your strategy.
Be polite and short with them, tell them you are busy and wish them a nice day.
Tell them you would love to catch up soon.
No longer than 5 minutes on the phone, and do not tell them anything about what is happening in your life.
Talk to them about them, and make small talk at that.
If they call and leave you a message, return the call, but not straight away.
Wait a few days, apologise, say you were busy and then ask them what they wanted.
Again keep the call short, tell them you are fine, and you will chat to them soon.
You need to create wonder and curiosity in their minds about your life.
You need to create a situation where your ex wants to know more about what you are doing in your life.
You want them to ask you out.
Eventually they probably will, but wait for them to ask, do not approach them to go out anywhere.
This strategy is so effective, I recommend it to just about everyone whose relationship has ended and they want their partners back.
For people who have children together, you would obviously have to vary it.
You would need to be very discreet about your life with your children, because obviously they will tell the other parent all of what is going on with mum or dad.
There should be some kind of agreement in place about when the children call your ex and when your ex can call the children, so that the children's schedule of bedtime, baths, dinner and so forth is not interrupted.
"No contact" is so very effective for both you and your ex because it drives them wild with curiosity over what you are doing and more importantly why they have not heard from you.
It also gives you that time and space to work at becoming the person you were before the break up and that's the person you want them to see.
If you are contemplating trying this after reading this article, I wish you all the best.
It worked for me and I believe it can work for you.
Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free 'Biggest Break up Mistakes' Mini-Course.
Go to: WinBackLove
"No Contact" is a break up strategy that I learned a few years ago when I went through a break up and wanted the man in question back.
However, "no contact is more about taking care of you, and doing "no contact" does more for you in terms of getting your life back on track.
Many people whose partners break up with them would like to stay in constant contact, and they would even like to be friends.
But I do not feel that this is a good idea.
Being in contact all the time leaves a temptation to ask them to come back to the relationship.
This puts pressure on your ex, and this is exactly what you do not want to do.
You want them to return of their own free will.
Before I go any further with explaining "no contact" I will say that it may not work for couples with children.
If you are going through a divorce/separation or break up and you have children, this strategy will not be as effective.
You can use it but you must keep some kind of contact happening for your children.
Your kids obviously have to come first.
If you were living together, then at the beginning of the break up there will be contact as one of you will be required to move out of the home you are sharing.
After he or she has formally moved out, then you begin "no contact" For couple who do not live together, "no contact" should begin the same day they end the relationship.
However, I realize that most of you reading this article will have had some contact with your ex lovers.
It's not too late to start now, so go to it.
Do not call him or her, do not write, or email and do not text message.
Nothing, no contact means zilch.
You then focus on the business of getting your life back together.
You probably will not hear from your ex for a while as they will probably expect you to chase after them, given they did the dumping here.
However if you do hear from them; here is your strategy.
Be polite and short with them, tell them you are busy and wish them a nice day.
Tell them you would love to catch up soon.
No longer than 5 minutes on the phone, and do not tell them anything about what is happening in your life.
Talk to them about them, and make small talk at that.
If they call and leave you a message, return the call, but not straight away.
Wait a few days, apologise, say you were busy and then ask them what they wanted.
Again keep the call short, tell them you are fine, and you will chat to them soon.
You need to create wonder and curiosity in their minds about your life.
You need to create a situation where your ex wants to know more about what you are doing in your life.
You want them to ask you out.
Eventually they probably will, but wait for them to ask, do not approach them to go out anywhere.
This strategy is so effective, I recommend it to just about everyone whose relationship has ended and they want their partners back.
For people who have children together, you would obviously have to vary it.
You would need to be very discreet about your life with your children, because obviously they will tell the other parent all of what is going on with mum or dad.
There should be some kind of agreement in place about when the children call your ex and when your ex can call the children, so that the children's schedule of bedtime, baths, dinner and so forth is not interrupted.
"No contact" is so very effective for both you and your ex because it drives them wild with curiosity over what you are doing and more importantly why they have not heard from you.
It also gives you that time and space to work at becoming the person you were before the break up and that's the person you want them to see.
If you are contemplating trying this after reading this article, I wish you all the best.
It worked for me and I believe it can work for you.
Copyright © 2007 Janelle Coulton Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free 'Biggest Break up Mistakes' Mini-Course.
Go to: WinBackLove
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