Family & Relationships Conflict

You Have Betrayed My Trust - Can I Believe What You Say?

One of the main reasons couples wave goodbye to each other is trust.
Or should I say lack of it.
Trust has a lot to answer for as it is probably in the top five of relationship killers.
I suspect there are a few wanted posters out there for this thing we cannot seem to do well without.
Jays boyfriend has an affair and tells her it meant nothing so can they continue on.
His girlfriend is shattered by the news and cannot get her head around what he has done.
She tells him it will take some time to regain trust again.
Jodie's partner had a cheating girlfriend before he met her and often gets into a jealous rage when she talks to other guys.
He has a problem with trust and Jodie is paying the price.
We can love again but do we ever fully trust someone who has hurt us in the love game.
I think we do not so much as wait and see.
As long as it does not rip at your soul this is probably what most people do.
Because when we fall in love we assume the feeling is exactly the same for our partner we are totally devastated by any betrayal.
If we did not have to deal with the trust factor we would forgive and forget a lot more.
We would give our partners another chance and put it down to life experience.
If we were all like Mr Spock on Star Trek we would be totally logical and accept that our partner may have made a mistake.
Of course if they keep on making the same mistake like serial cheating then moving on would be the better choice.
We are stuck with this multi-sided emotion that is trust and it makes life very complicated.
Some partners hold grudges when their trust is betrayed and seek revenge instead of a solution.
I strongly advise you give this version a miss, as it will stop you from ever trusting a partner again.
When you tell a partner you do not trust them it automatically puts a huge wall up between the two of you.
Breaking down that wall is not easy as paranoia can step in.
The next phase of not being able to trust your man or woman can be paranoia.
You may start looking too hard and see things that are not really there.
Take Jay our boyfriend who had the affair.
He may be truly sorry and in love with his girlfriend but because she no longer trusts him she thinks every girl he chats too he has been unfaithful with.
She is getting really paranoid and this may split them up, as it becomes harder for Jay to win back that all-important thing.
This word can do so much damage.
So how do we trust again? If we can see our partner as human perhaps we can forgive a lot easier.
Many couples have faced this dilemma and stuck it out together.
For some the experience has made them stronger and more.
Next time your partner betrays your trust give them a break and remember they are not perfect.
A second chance is fair.
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