Most relationships can be repaired.
I say this to give strength to those who wish to find real solutions to their relationship issues.
But know, before you proceed, that the relationship is one that should be saved.
Healing relationship rifts takes effort, but it's totally worth it if it results in a happy, loving relationship.
Anything else is, simply, not worth the kind of solutions available to us.
With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the wrong reasons for getting back together.
You Don't Want To Be Alone Not many people want to be alone.
And those that do have usually just come out of a bad relationship! I know that this is a powerful emotion, which may be burning up inside right now.
But there has to be more to a relationship than that.
It can't just be a case of you wanting to fill that void, or the seat next to you in the car pool lane! You need to make sure that you are both getting back together because the void you are feeling is shaped like the person who you've broken up from.
It has to be based on love, the kind that continues even when you are apart.
You Didn't Deserve To Be Dumped If your ex was responsible for ending the relationship it's easy to fixate on the dumping.
Sometimes people want to start relationships up again just to prove their partners wrong.
This is, unsurprisingly, not the best basis for a relationship! If you are getting back together purely to overcome some, undeserved, sense of 'shame' at being dumped then, really, who's going to benefit from that? If it's not love driving you to get back together, you may want to think again.
You Want Some Sort of 'Revenge' Any guesses for the most common manifestation of this one? Yes, it's the "I'm going to get back with my ex, then dump them" phenomenon.
That'll show your ex, won't it? Really, it'll show them how they were right to end the relationship in the first place! This is such a waste of energy that you could better spend, moving on with your life.
It's not uncommon for people, going through the pain of a break up, to fantasize about doing something like this, however childish we all know it is.
But if this fantasy doesn't subside and disappear, you are definitely in the realm of getting back together for the wrong reasons!
I say this to give strength to those who wish to find real solutions to their relationship issues.
But know, before you proceed, that the relationship is one that should be saved.
Healing relationship rifts takes effort, but it's totally worth it if it results in a happy, loving relationship.
Anything else is, simply, not worth the kind of solutions available to us.
With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the wrong reasons for getting back together.
You Don't Want To Be Alone Not many people want to be alone.
And those that do have usually just come out of a bad relationship! I know that this is a powerful emotion, which may be burning up inside right now.
But there has to be more to a relationship than that.
It can't just be a case of you wanting to fill that void, or the seat next to you in the car pool lane! You need to make sure that you are both getting back together because the void you are feeling is shaped like the person who you've broken up from.
It has to be based on love, the kind that continues even when you are apart.
You Didn't Deserve To Be Dumped If your ex was responsible for ending the relationship it's easy to fixate on the dumping.
Sometimes people want to start relationships up again just to prove their partners wrong.
This is, unsurprisingly, not the best basis for a relationship! If you are getting back together purely to overcome some, undeserved, sense of 'shame' at being dumped then, really, who's going to benefit from that? If it's not love driving you to get back together, you may want to think again.
You Want Some Sort of 'Revenge' Any guesses for the most common manifestation of this one? Yes, it's the "I'm going to get back with my ex, then dump them" phenomenon.
That'll show your ex, won't it? Really, it'll show them how they were right to end the relationship in the first place! This is such a waste of energy that you could better spend, moving on with your life.
It's not uncommon for people, going through the pain of a break up, to fantasize about doing something like this, however childish we all know it is.
But if this fantasy doesn't subside and disappear, you are definitely in the realm of getting back together for the wrong reasons!
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