The unwillingness to say "No!" to the requests of others when you are already stretched thin can lead to undue stress, and ultimately, a rapid decline in productivity.
When working with a client who has told me "I just can't tell people 'No'!" I look at them and say, "I know what will help, trust me.
Take all of your clothes off, now, and go stand on the street corner for 5 minutes; that's a sure fix.
" At first, they nervously laugh.
However, after I repeat the request, again, with the same degree of seriousness, they inevitably say "NO! I am not willing to do that Vince!" I just smile and say "You just told me 'No'!" While this may initially seem like a twisted game, I have found it to be a prerequisite for success with the client.
If I simply attempt to convince them that they can develop the confidence to say "No", they'll likely resist.
If I am successful, it will take longer than necessary.
By putting them in a bind, however, where they have no choice but to say "No", and to have them say this to the person they had, just moments before told that they couldn't say "No"-me-I have provided them with irrefutable evidence that they can, in fact say "No".
With this faulty and self-limiting belief about their ability obliterated, we can then move forward, using other techniques to quickly "wire in" the behavior of saying "No" to the time robbers in their life.
Also, keep in mind, that whenever you say "Yes" to something, you have simultaneously said "No" to everything else.
For example, if someone asks me to attend a function at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, and I agree, I have just said "No" to everything else I could have possibly been doing at that time.
If I know that my daughter has a t-ball game at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, it's very easy for me to tell anyone "No" about anything else they want me to do.
Because I stay very much aware that every "Yes" carries with it, a much wider array of "No's", I am very careful about what I decide to say "Yes" to when it comes to the requests of others.
When I begin by saying "No", however, I have immediately cleared that space, or kept it open at the very least, for other things that may later prove to be more important.
I have found it much easier to start with "No" and later change my answer to "Yes", than the other way around.
© Copyright 2009-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.
When working with a client who has told me "I just can't tell people 'No'!" I look at them and say, "I know what will help, trust me.
Take all of your clothes off, now, and go stand on the street corner for 5 minutes; that's a sure fix.
" At first, they nervously laugh.
However, after I repeat the request, again, with the same degree of seriousness, they inevitably say "NO! I am not willing to do that Vince!" I just smile and say "You just told me 'No'!" While this may initially seem like a twisted game, I have found it to be a prerequisite for success with the client.
If I simply attempt to convince them that they can develop the confidence to say "No", they'll likely resist.
If I am successful, it will take longer than necessary.
By putting them in a bind, however, where they have no choice but to say "No", and to have them say this to the person they had, just moments before told that they couldn't say "No"-me-I have provided them with irrefutable evidence that they can, in fact say "No".
With this faulty and self-limiting belief about their ability obliterated, we can then move forward, using other techniques to quickly "wire in" the behavior of saying "No" to the time robbers in their life.
Also, keep in mind, that whenever you say "Yes" to something, you have simultaneously said "No" to everything else.
For example, if someone asks me to attend a function at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, and I agree, I have just said "No" to everything else I could have possibly been doing at that time.
If I know that my daughter has a t-ball game at 6:30 pm on Tuesday, it's very easy for me to tell anyone "No" about anything else they want me to do.
Because I stay very much aware that every "Yes" carries with it, a much wider array of "No's", I am very careful about what I decide to say "Yes" to when it comes to the requests of others.
When I begin by saying "No", however, I have immediately cleared that space, or kept it open at the very least, for other things that may later prove to be more important.
I have found it much easier to start with "No" and later change my answer to "Yes", than the other way around.
© Copyright 2009-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.
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