Do our loved ones who have crossed over to the other side still have the power to influence our physical lives? Your loved ones' presence is real, but how do you know it just not your imagination? Why do spirits choose to communicate at certain times and not at others? And what exactly is the difference between a psychic and a psychic medium? These questions and more came to mind while watching a recent episode of the TV drama Medium, staring Patricia Arquette.
Acting as Allison Dubois, as she sees dead people and hears them talking.
After watching just one show, the talking to the dead or rather the living dead took on a new meaning.
It made me wonder about the process.
Death separates us from the physical closeness of our family members and loved ones.
It is only natural that we grieve for the loss of the human companionship and interactions we had with our friends and family, including beloved pets when they were living with us in the physical form.
We can no longer reach out and touch them or pick up the phone and talk to them.
We experience heartache living separate from their physical beings, no longer given the opportunity to give hugs, touch their faces, or hear their laughter.
With this came a great deal of debates about what happens after death to the soul.
Death to me has also been about an ending of life on the planet.
A special and blessed man with a psychic "gift" to connect with loved ones on the other side clearly thinks differently and does not view death as -- The End.
Robert Allen Fahey, Ph.
D.
, a psychic spirit medium believes the soul transits to another place where it lives on.
He never debates his beliefs, nor does he try to prove what he thinks or disprove what anyone else may hold as the truth.
He helps those seriously interested in knowing more about life after life, including how anyone can make contact.
Some think a good place to start is to see movies such as "What Dreams May Come," where Robin Williams plays a man who dies and attempts to communicate with his wife in a dramatic scene of automatic writing that understandably pushes an already frazzled widow over the edge.
In another classic film "Ghost," Whoopie Goldberg plays a medium and that spirits must line up to hop into her body and receive their messages.
Entertaining as they are, these Hollywood versions of spirit contact and communication perpetuate many myths.
For example, talking to the dead is a specialist's job and that when the dead do manage to get a word in edgewise it is through such theatrics as possessing a person's vocal chords or pen-holding hand.
To better understand the process, here are the hints Dr.
Fahey gave for the best approach in talking with the dead.
In real life and professional practice, talking to the dead is more like placing a long distance phone call to a third world country -- the connection can be tenuous and static-filled, but in the end, it is as simple a dialing.
On the other hand, going to a professional medium to talk to dear departed grandmother also can be more like placing an operator-assisted call, only one must resort to this more expensive option after your own attempts have failed.
Most people often seek out a medium before they have even begun to make their own attempts because of the need to learn or better understand a recent dream or visitation from someone lost to the other side.
Still, there are steps that Dr.
Fahey includes in his lectures and demonstrations that anyone can at least make one try prior to calling upon him for a private sitting.
Here given by permission are the steps he gives.
Step one: dialing up! The first lesson to successful spirit contact and communication may seem the most obvious - you have to want to make contact.
Emotions of doubt, fear, guilt, shame and anger can get in the way of communing with a loved one who has made the transition from the physical world.
In addition, emotions that run deep often act as a self-erected unconscious barrier to deal not only with grief but also in making an afterlife connection.
When an aging parent dies, for instance, it often becomes quite apparent that a sibling has the most unprocessed issues about the parent.
Siblings often report dream visitations while the sibling in angst may report nightmares.
There seems to be a flip side, and this means that sometimes the lack of contact may also be the spirit itself making a decision and doing so for the bereaved need for healing.
In other words, contact may need to wait until a later date, a much later date.
Step two: put the receiver to your ear.
If you are not listening, you won't hear.
Those in spirit make every effort to get our attention through signs and in so gentle and non-threatening ways that we miss many of the subtle messages.
Cues can include a ringing in the ears, a fleeting image of movement in our peripheral vision, dream appearances and waking signs.
On occasion, a spirit will make a grand entrance when perhaps we have been slow to pay attention.
One story that comes to mind is that of a recently deceased father who made his presence known in an unusual way.
When Betty's father died, she took home his video camera and left it on a shelf in her living room.
One night as she and her family sat watching TV, the camera suddenly began to whir and hum: her father's camera had turned on by itself.
Although Betty wondered whether her father was responsible, she became convinced later that same night when two smoke detectors in the home began beeping the warning beep associated with a low battery.
When she opened up the detectors, however, she realized there were no batteries inside.
Betty took this as a friendly safety message from her father who routinely used to remind the family to keep smoke detectors in working order.
Step three: talking back-talk! What this means in practice is that in order to be successful with spirit communication, one must always consider the process being like that of a two-way street.
Whether you are developing a conversation with a friend or with someone who has crossed-over, it makes no difference when we can ask for guidance.
Only when talking to the departed all we need to do is simply think or write down our questions in a journal.
Answers come through signs, meaningful coincidences, and many times in dream conversations.
This reminds me of when my father crossed over to the other side and my sister was not present for his death, and she longed to know if his last moments of life were a terrifying event for him.
She questioned why he chose that particular time to die.
The answer came to her within weeks of his death, in a dream visitation.
In the dream, father allowed her to time travel to the scene of his final minutes where she could comfort him as he transitioned.
In the same dream, she asked him why he chose to die.
He said, "Because I was tired of worrying.
" This immediately made sense to her because father's worsening ill- health matters had made simple tasks such as paying bills and taking medicines impossible for him.
Feeling out of control no doubt worried him greatly and departing would have been likely a relief.
Finally, deciding to use a medium! The difference between a psychic medium and psychic is that all psychic mediums are psychic, but not all psychics are psychic mediums.
What this means is that not all psychics connect with the spirit world.
Psychic mediums not only can do what psychics do, but also work mostly with making contact with those who have crossed over to the other side.
If after trying to make a connection, you believe you may be better to seek the services of a medium, be discerning.
You will want to find someone who has word-of-mouth clients and remember that the medium need not be famous to be good.
Many psychics will include spirit communication in a sitting without ever referring to their service as mediumship, so don't become fixated on the séance and medium shtick.
Just ask while making your room sitting reservation or appointment whether the reader is able to work with spirit communication should it arise.
When you call for a sitting, also be sure to relate nothing significant about yourself or the departed you may wish to contact.
During the reading, make an effort to keep facial expressions to a minimum.
Do not answer questions unless the medium has first volunteered information.
Be positively demanding; require that the communication contain material that leaves no room for doubt.
Hearing the name or nickname of the departed or being offered a symbol or memory that only you two share are good barometers of authenticity.
For example, when my grandfather came to me through a clairvoyant a year ago, the first name and symbol he presented was that of Joe and a scent of freshly made bakery bread.
This was a definitive clue as my father's name was Joseph, and he worked for Wonder bread.
Finally, one should not expect just because you show up for the party, the spirit of the deceased you have in mind to make contact with most will attend.
A medium cannot extend an invitation or force someone to appear.
Rather the medium is simply a host waiting for the guests to arrive.
In the end, the best reading will include communication of contact that convinces you without a doubt of the departed person's presence and that hopefully, offers healing or closure in some way.
This may mean seeing a professional psychic medium like Dr.
Fahey only because you may fear your desire for communication is so great that the signs and experiences you have are a product of your imagination.
Whether you find yourself at a psychic's door or talking to a loved one in your sleep, the experience of communicating with the dead is profoundly life changing, as for once we remember the truth that we do not die, we simply advance.
If you have had a personal experience with a visitation from a loved one who has passed on, please take a moment and share your story with us.
We will believe you.