Do you know what the priority is in your relationship? Many times, we have a secret agenda that is so private and hidden in the recesses of our minds that we're not even aware that it is operating 24/7 to motivate our words and actions.
Ask yourself whether you are truly motivated to be happy, or if the thought driving you is that you want to be the one who is right all the time.
The desire to be right can be very sneaky, and it exists in even the nicest people, so don't feel ashamed at the idea that it might be part of your emotional makeup, or even the most powerful force in your behavior.
In a stressful relationship -- whether it's at work, home or in the community -- you have the choice of establishing your personal priority.
What is it that you hope to gain from this particular relationship? Has the dynamic of the relationship changed over the years and yet you're still going at it with the same old tools, expecting different results? Take a look at the outcomes you are getting in your life at the present moment.
Notice whether you are disgruntled most of the time, or if you are generally satisfied with the way your life is unfolding.
The fact is, whether you like it or not, you have something to do with these results, a big something.
Even though it can be ego-satisfying to point to the other person and put all the blame at their feet when things are not going so well, you do have a part in it.
Just by being there, you have a part! Decide today what you are going to focus on as your priority in your key relationships.
If you want to be right, and you refuse to give that up as a goal, then be prepared for the other person to resent and resist you.
If, however, you are willing to shift your priority so that the harmony of the relationship and the success of the partnership is the shared goal, then you will learn to think before you speak, and weigh your words.
You can rephrase something so that it's a request instead of a bossy demand.
You can ask "How can I help make this happen?" instead of ordering someone to do things for you, or complaining that they never do anything right and you always have to fix all their mistakes.
Many times, a simple shift in your attitude and small changes in your behavior will reap huge rewards.
See what a difference it makes in your relationships if you approach the other person with the idea of wanting a win-win situation, instead of being determined that you'll get your fair share.
Focus less on yourself and more on others -- that's a quick key toward lasting happiness and stress reduction.
Ask yourself whether you are truly motivated to be happy, or if the thought driving you is that you want to be the one who is right all the time.
The desire to be right can be very sneaky, and it exists in even the nicest people, so don't feel ashamed at the idea that it might be part of your emotional makeup, or even the most powerful force in your behavior.
In a stressful relationship -- whether it's at work, home or in the community -- you have the choice of establishing your personal priority.
What is it that you hope to gain from this particular relationship? Has the dynamic of the relationship changed over the years and yet you're still going at it with the same old tools, expecting different results? Take a look at the outcomes you are getting in your life at the present moment.
Notice whether you are disgruntled most of the time, or if you are generally satisfied with the way your life is unfolding.
The fact is, whether you like it or not, you have something to do with these results, a big something.
Even though it can be ego-satisfying to point to the other person and put all the blame at their feet when things are not going so well, you do have a part in it.
Just by being there, you have a part! Decide today what you are going to focus on as your priority in your key relationships.
If you want to be right, and you refuse to give that up as a goal, then be prepared for the other person to resent and resist you.
If, however, you are willing to shift your priority so that the harmony of the relationship and the success of the partnership is the shared goal, then you will learn to think before you speak, and weigh your words.
You can rephrase something so that it's a request instead of a bossy demand.
You can ask "How can I help make this happen?" instead of ordering someone to do things for you, or complaining that they never do anything right and you always have to fix all their mistakes.
Many times, a simple shift in your attitude and small changes in your behavior will reap huge rewards.
See what a difference it makes in your relationships if you approach the other person with the idea of wanting a win-win situation, instead of being determined that you'll get your fair share.
Focus less on yourself and more on others -- that's a quick key toward lasting happiness and stress reduction.
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