Stacy had an ex boyfriend to get back together with.
She knew this was what she wanted, but she also knew that her ex, Kyle, had to understand what she needed from him.
Kyle had commitment issues.
He would stick by her for awhile, being the perfect boyfriend, then he would be gone, wanting more space and the freedom to see other people.
This was not a relationship Stacy could sustain when Kyle was seemingly always an ex boyfriend to get back together with.
Stacy felt that there were two issues to deal with in this relationship.
One was Kyle's inability to commit.
In what she said was her final attempt to reunite with him, she told him that she would give him one more chance, but that if he broke away from her again, she would move on with her life and their relationship would finally be at a real end and he would no longer be the ex boyfriend to get back together with.
The other issue, she told Kyle, was definitely her fault.
It was that she knew she was always pushing for commitment from Kyle.
At first, Kyle would have no problem with this.
But soon, after a few weeks, Kyle would be gone again, unable to cope with the pressure Stacy put on him for the relationship.
She told Kyle she realized this was a problem for him and said that, this time, the pace of the relationship would be up to him.
With the exception of not seeing other people, she would put no demands on him.
He was in control.
Kyle was agreeable to try this method with Stacy.
He stopped being an ex boyfriend to get back together with.
He, like many men, felt the need to be in control of situations, to be the hunter, the one who was in charge.
Stacy, when she would press for his commitment, took that power away from him and it made Kyle feel helpless in the relationship.
That was why he continually felt the need for space.
So, Stacy stop calling the shots.
She let him make all the decisions and first moves.
While things were never quite the way Stacy would have planned them, she found that their time together was still quality time.
In fact, sometimes, there was more meaning to their dates than had been before when Stacy had been in charge of planning.
Kyle also found that he appreciated Stacy more, and wanted to please her.
His need for space evaporated and he became even closer to Stacy than before.
Stacy, always accustomed to being in charge, found that relinquishing the power over the relationship, gave Kyle permission to lavish her with the attention she really wanted from him.
Stacy discovered that by giving Kyle what he needed in the relationship, they saved the relationship.
She learned that, in spite of being an independent person, she could give Kyle the control he needed and not be diminished for it.
In fact, she was rewarded for giving the reigns of the relationship to Kyle.
Kyle was no longer an ex boyfriend to get back together with.
He was the love of her life and she was happy again.