Many people, after some time has passed from a painful breakup, wonder it they should try to get back together with their ex.
This can be a really difficult question to answer.
Dealing with this question will require tough-as-nails brutal honesty, and starts with an appraisal of what your relationship was really like.
This article presents three questions that will help you figure out the answer to your question "Should I try to get my ex back?"
This can be a really difficult question to answer.
Dealing with this question will require tough-as-nails brutal honesty, and starts with an appraisal of what your relationship was really like.
This article presents three questions that will help you figure out the answer to your question "Should I try to get my ex back?"
- Was there any abuse in your relationship? If there was any abuse in your relationship - emotional or physical - just be happy the relationship is over.
Physical abuse, of course, is pretty obvious.
Emotional abuse is also very hurtful, and can include things like:- Your ex yelling at you.
- Your ex insulting you.
- Your ex saying things to make you feel small and powerless.
- Your ex belittling you in any way.
You may need counseling to help you get over the abuse.
You may need to get the support of friends and relatives to help you rebuild your self esteem.
Take the time you need to make the commitment to NOT become involved with another abusive relationship. - Your ex yelling at you.
- Was there unfaithfulness in your relationship? If so, you will never have a chance to re-unite unless you can discuss the unfaithfulness openly and honestly.
Even if the unfaithfulness was a one-time "mistake", it may make rebuilding very difficult.
There needs to be forgiveness.
There may also be a need for each person to come to a place where they can trust that the other is committed to keeping promises.
- Are you certain about why you want to save the relationship? Answering this question could be difficult, unless you are the rare person who can be objective about their motives.
Was your relationship right for both of you? Is loneliness or jealousy playing a part in your decision? What are the issues you know you will need to address and work through? You may need to dig pretty deep to find the answers to these questions.
Remember - if you're even asking "Should I try to get my ex back?", the answer could be no.
If that's the case you're much better off just moving on with your life.
If you are grappling with this question, you are obviously at a crossroads in your life.
If you have one or two trusted friends who you know have your best interests at heart, you may want to enlist their help.
I wish you well, and hope the questions I've presented will help you discover which fork in the road will serve you best!
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