He left.
Now what do you do? Or maybe he hasn't left yet, but the end of the relationship is nearing and you are wondering what you can do to either get him back or get him to stay.
The 1st step is to understand why he left or is leaving.
Assuming he has already left the relationship, did he give you a reason(s).
When my husband, of 14 years, wanted out, he broke it too me one afternoon upon returning home from visiting friends.
He stopped on the front steps, looked at me and said, "I don't want to do this anymore.
" "Do what?" I replied.
"Be married," he stated as if he thought about it on the way home and decided that day was as good as any to break it to me.
"Can we talk about it," I inquired as tears built and my heart broke.
"No I've made up my mind and there's nothing or no one that is going to change my mind.
" Not only was I crushed, but I was stunned that he was so adamant about it.
Needless to say my reaction was purely emotional; I immediately wanted to hurt him as badly as I was hurting, so I demanded that he pack his bags and leave at once.
Though wanting desperately for him to stay, I also wanted him gone so he wouldn't see how upset I was about to get (that's the German pride in me).
I also didn't care where he went.
I assumed he also had that figured out before he made the decision to leave.
100's of questions were running through my mind.
Why? What had I done wrong? Was there another woman? Why doesn't he want to talk about it? Why doesn't he want it to work? I was still running questions through my mind as he walked passed me and left.
So that's how my marriage ended, though that's not the end of the story.
You probably have a heartbreaking story also.
Any relationship that ends has its story.
You probably don't care about my story; you are reading this to get some insight on what you do next.
When they leave, you are left to deal with a ton of emotions.
Love, hate, guilt, fear, remorse, grief, sadness, just to name a few and it's amazing how quickly a person can go from one emotion to another and sometimes back again.
The length of the relationship is a moot point.
The one who is left is hurt the most and usually is still in love.
The one who left has already given it some serious thought and made up their mind that they were moving on.
So can you win them back or do you really want them back.
You have a lot of pain to work through but you need to make the decision; are you going to let them go or are you going to fight to get them back.
There are literally 1000's of reasons why relationships fail.
What I would like to cover in this article is what I believe to be the Top 5.
Look at these from an objective perspective if possible.
#1.
The 3 C's; Criticism, Condemnation and Complaining.
How critical are you of your mate.
Too often we are guilty of only pointing out their faults, jumping on every opportunity to point out when they are wrong.
Criticism leads to resentment.
A condemning attitude is another huge problem.
If your heart is resentful and condemning your relationship suffers.
Complaining, often closely related to blaming, can literally cause your mate to grow weary and drift away.
#2.
The lack of appreciation.
This is a very basic need for all human beings.
It ranks right up there with the need for food nourishment.
It is the emotional nourishment that assists in the growth of the relationship.
Without it, any relationship will die.
#3.
Feeling Loved/Wanted/Important.
We all have the need to feel loved, wanted and important.
You want it and so does your mate.
To often when we don't have these basic needs met so we deny our mate the same.
Being stubborn or waiting for them to make the 1st move is a disaster waiting to happen.
Chances are they are doing the same thing, and if neither of you start, then a void is created.
#4.
Communication or a lack of.
Let's face it the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever.
Lives take on a routine and before long, you may talk about events of the day but forget to talk about your relationship and the feelings that go with it.
Just because you talk, this doesn't mean you are communicating.
#5.
Sex Maybe it was good or even great.
Maybe it was denied from your mate for whatever reason i.
e.
headache, too tired, too busy, this list of excuses is long.
Maybe there wasn't any at all.
And, even more serious, infidelity.
Once an affair has taken place, there is a whole new set of issues that need to be dealt with.
The bottom line is, there needs to be sex, which is the most intimate way a couple shows love.
Not the only way, but definitely an important one.
These 5 topics are not listed in order of importance.
Each one is as important as the next.
So think about your relationship and how well you are doing or did in these areas.
Don't blame yourself or your mate if your relationship was lacking in a key area.
The idea is for you to realize their importance and decide if you willing to address them with your mate in order to salvage your relationship.
Relationships aren't easy, they not only require work, but they must receive nourishment.
If you both understand the importance and are willing to work on these key areas, your future together has a chance, actually a pretty good chance of survival.
Now what do you do? Or maybe he hasn't left yet, but the end of the relationship is nearing and you are wondering what you can do to either get him back or get him to stay.
The 1st step is to understand why he left or is leaving.
Assuming he has already left the relationship, did he give you a reason(s).
When my husband, of 14 years, wanted out, he broke it too me one afternoon upon returning home from visiting friends.
He stopped on the front steps, looked at me and said, "I don't want to do this anymore.
" "Do what?" I replied.
"Be married," he stated as if he thought about it on the way home and decided that day was as good as any to break it to me.
"Can we talk about it," I inquired as tears built and my heart broke.
"No I've made up my mind and there's nothing or no one that is going to change my mind.
" Not only was I crushed, but I was stunned that he was so adamant about it.
Needless to say my reaction was purely emotional; I immediately wanted to hurt him as badly as I was hurting, so I demanded that he pack his bags and leave at once.
Though wanting desperately for him to stay, I also wanted him gone so he wouldn't see how upset I was about to get (that's the German pride in me).
I also didn't care where he went.
I assumed he also had that figured out before he made the decision to leave.
100's of questions were running through my mind.
Why? What had I done wrong? Was there another woman? Why doesn't he want to talk about it? Why doesn't he want it to work? I was still running questions through my mind as he walked passed me and left.
So that's how my marriage ended, though that's not the end of the story.
You probably have a heartbreaking story also.
Any relationship that ends has its story.
You probably don't care about my story; you are reading this to get some insight on what you do next.
When they leave, you are left to deal with a ton of emotions.
Love, hate, guilt, fear, remorse, grief, sadness, just to name a few and it's amazing how quickly a person can go from one emotion to another and sometimes back again.
The length of the relationship is a moot point.
The one who is left is hurt the most and usually is still in love.
The one who left has already given it some serious thought and made up their mind that they were moving on.
So can you win them back or do you really want them back.
You have a lot of pain to work through but you need to make the decision; are you going to let them go or are you going to fight to get them back.
There are literally 1000's of reasons why relationships fail.
What I would like to cover in this article is what I believe to be the Top 5.
Look at these from an objective perspective if possible.
#1.
The 3 C's; Criticism, Condemnation and Complaining.
How critical are you of your mate.
Too often we are guilty of only pointing out their faults, jumping on every opportunity to point out when they are wrong.
Criticism leads to resentment.
A condemning attitude is another huge problem.
If your heart is resentful and condemning your relationship suffers.
Complaining, often closely related to blaming, can literally cause your mate to grow weary and drift away.
#2.
The lack of appreciation.
This is a very basic need for all human beings.
It ranks right up there with the need for food nourishment.
It is the emotional nourishment that assists in the growth of the relationship.
Without it, any relationship will die.
#3.
Feeling Loved/Wanted/Important.
We all have the need to feel loved, wanted and important.
You want it and so does your mate.
To often when we don't have these basic needs met so we deny our mate the same.
Being stubborn or waiting for them to make the 1st move is a disaster waiting to happen.
Chances are they are doing the same thing, and if neither of you start, then a void is created.
#4.
Communication or a lack of.
Let's face it the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever.
Lives take on a routine and before long, you may talk about events of the day but forget to talk about your relationship and the feelings that go with it.
Just because you talk, this doesn't mean you are communicating.
#5.
Sex Maybe it was good or even great.
Maybe it was denied from your mate for whatever reason i.
e.
headache, too tired, too busy, this list of excuses is long.
Maybe there wasn't any at all.
And, even more serious, infidelity.
Once an affair has taken place, there is a whole new set of issues that need to be dealt with.
The bottom line is, there needs to be sex, which is the most intimate way a couple shows love.
Not the only way, but definitely an important one.
These 5 topics are not listed in order of importance.
Each one is as important as the next.
So think about your relationship and how well you are doing or did in these areas.
Don't blame yourself or your mate if your relationship was lacking in a key area.
The idea is for you to realize their importance and decide if you willing to address them with your mate in order to salvage your relationship.
Relationships aren't easy, they not only require work, but they must receive nourishment.
If you both understand the importance and are willing to work on these key areas, your future together has a chance, actually a pretty good chance of survival.
SHARE
