"BE YOURSELF.
" That is what most guys hear women tell them when they are seeking female advice on dating.
It sounds easy enough, doesn't it? So we should just be ourselves and play Madden 2010 or Modern Warfare 2 on XBox 360 for 6 hours straight with our buddies while drinking beer then throw on some hoodies and talk to women.
Right? Well, maybe not.
The first things I have learned about coaching guys dating is that you have to read between the lines as well as hear what they are not saying when communicating with women.
What they mean by, "BE YOURSELF", is more like what Uncle Sam tells you, "BE THAT ALL YOU CAN BE", i.
e.
"BE YOUR BEST SELF".
So let's look at what makes up that "SELF" for guys in modern dating environment.
Based on my years of experience of advising clients and friends (both male and female) on dating, that "SELF" is made up of three different components: 1.
Our Inner Self: This component is about your mentality and spirituality.
This is also all where all that stuff about ambitions, courage, motivation, self-respect, integrity, etc.
comes in.
This is where we draw our true inner strength.
By having a strong inner self, we don't let small things in life bother us.
We focus on our lives goal.
Just like Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true.
" 2.
Our Outer Self: This is our external appearance.
This includes our facial and body structure (including hair or lack there of).
I have some friends who coaches dating to shy and socially awkward guys.
And one of the first things they tell those students is that appearances do not matter.
By teaching that, one of the most common excuses for not talking to girls from their students is eliminated.
(What if I am not her physical type?) We all know that external appearance does matter.
However, it doesn't matter as much as we think.
This does not excuse us from working out and taking care of ourselves though.
So go ahead.
Join a gym and workout.
Or go for a jog.
Trust me.
It will helpful more than you think, in more ways than one.
3.
Our Lifestyle: This is how we live our lives.
Do you have interesting friends? Do you have interesting hobbies? Where was last interesting place you've visited? When and where was last charity function you attended? Last concert? Sporting event? By going out there and enjoying what life has to offer, we make our lives more interesting, therefore us more interesting.
Yes, our financial status is a part of this, too, but not as much as we think.
So there you have it.
Do you have all three of those areas in order? That's answer only you can answer.
Just remember, "To thine own self be true.
"
" That is what most guys hear women tell them when they are seeking female advice on dating.
It sounds easy enough, doesn't it? So we should just be ourselves and play Madden 2010 or Modern Warfare 2 on XBox 360 for 6 hours straight with our buddies while drinking beer then throw on some hoodies and talk to women.
Right? Well, maybe not.
The first things I have learned about coaching guys dating is that you have to read between the lines as well as hear what they are not saying when communicating with women.
What they mean by, "BE YOURSELF", is more like what Uncle Sam tells you, "BE THAT ALL YOU CAN BE", i.
e.
"BE YOUR BEST SELF".
So let's look at what makes up that "SELF" for guys in modern dating environment.
Based on my years of experience of advising clients and friends (both male and female) on dating, that "SELF" is made up of three different components: 1.
Our Inner Self: This component is about your mentality and spirituality.
This is also all where all that stuff about ambitions, courage, motivation, self-respect, integrity, etc.
comes in.
This is where we draw our true inner strength.
By having a strong inner self, we don't let small things in life bother us.
We focus on our lives goal.
Just like Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true.
" 2.
Our Outer Self: This is our external appearance.
This includes our facial and body structure (including hair or lack there of).
I have some friends who coaches dating to shy and socially awkward guys.
And one of the first things they tell those students is that appearances do not matter.
By teaching that, one of the most common excuses for not talking to girls from their students is eliminated.
(What if I am not her physical type?) We all know that external appearance does matter.
However, it doesn't matter as much as we think.
This does not excuse us from working out and taking care of ourselves though.
So go ahead.
Join a gym and workout.
Or go for a jog.
Trust me.
It will helpful more than you think, in more ways than one.
3.
Our Lifestyle: This is how we live our lives.
Do you have interesting friends? Do you have interesting hobbies? Where was last interesting place you've visited? When and where was last charity function you attended? Last concert? Sporting event? By going out there and enjoying what life has to offer, we make our lives more interesting, therefore us more interesting.
Yes, our financial status is a part of this, too, but not as much as we think.
So there you have it.
Do you have all three of those areas in order? That's answer only you can answer.
Just remember, "To thine own self be true.
"
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