Though you thought you were dealt the harshest blow when the love of your life surprised you by breaking up with you, you've recently learned that he or she is now seeing someone else! You ask yourself how this is possible after all that you shared.
Indeed you begin questioning what it was that you shared if your ex can so quickly rebound.
When people rebound it's because he or she has simply taken the feelings they had or still have for you and transferred them to someone else.
Those feelings of love are real; they are just directed at the wrong person.
The reason people often rebound is because it's easier to transfer feelings rather than deal with the loss caused by the sudden void in their lives.
There's an upside to this.
Rebounds don't usually last.
That is, if you follow my advice, you have a good shot of getting your ex back; if you don't, you risk the rebound developing into a strong bond.
Right now, the person who's in the relationship with your ex gets the best of both worlds, all the feelings of love thrown at him or her without the commitment and work it took you to get there.
To get your ex back, the first step is to implement the no contact rule.
There is really no other way around this.
This means exactly as it sounds, no contact.
Don't call to let your ex know you still have his or her CD, don't call because you forgot to take his or her name off the joint checking account and you feel as though you need to inform him or her, just do it.
It means no contact.
It's best to move on with your life; whether this means to get a hobby, go back to school, whatever it means, it does mean move on.
If your ex calls to "dump" on you about issues he or she is having with the rebound, offer to listen and your regrets that there are issues, but say nothing more.
Express your hope that things work out and mean it.
Above all, you want your ex to be happy, even if it's not with you.
Whatever you do, don't express anything other than support.
This is what will happen if you remain in contact.
You will only serve to push your ex closer to the rebound.
Now your ex and the rebound have something in common - bashing you.
Over time their bond will grow, thus leaving you a smaller and smaller chance of reconciliation.
It may not happen overnight but eventually your ex will recognize the rebound for what it is and what you and she or he had.
Indeed you begin questioning what it was that you shared if your ex can so quickly rebound.
When people rebound it's because he or she has simply taken the feelings they had or still have for you and transferred them to someone else.
Those feelings of love are real; they are just directed at the wrong person.
The reason people often rebound is because it's easier to transfer feelings rather than deal with the loss caused by the sudden void in their lives.
There's an upside to this.
Rebounds don't usually last.
That is, if you follow my advice, you have a good shot of getting your ex back; if you don't, you risk the rebound developing into a strong bond.
Right now, the person who's in the relationship with your ex gets the best of both worlds, all the feelings of love thrown at him or her without the commitment and work it took you to get there.
To get your ex back, the first step is to implement the no contact rule.
There is really no other way around this.
This means exactly as it sounds, no contact.
Don't call to let your ex know you still have his or her CD, don't call because you forgot to take his or her name off the joint checking account and you feel as though you need to inform him or her, just do it.
It means no contact.
It's best to move on with your life; whether this means to get a hobby, go back to school, whatever it means, it does mean move on.
If your ex calls to "dump" on you about issues he or she is having with the rebound, offer to listen and your regrets that there are issues, but say nothing more.
Express your hope that things work out and mean it.
Above all, you want your ex to be happy, even if it's not with you.
Whatever you do, don't express anything other than support.
This is what will happen if you remain in contact.
You will only serve to push your ex closer to the rebound.
Now your ex and the rebound have something in common - bashing you.
Over time their bond will grow, thus leaving you a smaller and smaller chance of reconciliation.
It may not happen overnight but eventually your ex will recognize the rebound for what it is and what you and she or he had.
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