Cats understand reading.

If you doubt my words, just try to spread out and enjoy your morning paper, with a cat in thehouse. You know exactly what will happen, don't you? Yep, His Honor will awaken, stretch,yawn, and casually stroll to you, hop from floor to lap to table in a wink and gracefully arrange himself exactly in the center of the article you are reading. Heaven help you if you try to dislodge him from his position.

What cats understand about reading, is that it is an engrossing occupation that their humans assume, which takes attention away from them. They view your reading as a challenge to assert their primary place in your attention.

Cats are jealous of human competition.

Our oldest cat, Bubba, was found by my son as a kitten several years ago, playing with the river-rats at the bridge-head nearby. Asa emphatically told my son and I, "You have three days to find him a home. We don't need another cat."

A couple of days later, Asa was to be seen walking around with the kitten wrapped around hisneck, purr-singing to beat the band. "Friendly little guy, isn't he?" he grinned. The cat now weighs close to 14 pounds, but still asserts his place, wrapped around Asa's neck.

The bond between those two is incredibly strong. Bubba sees me as an unwelcome competitor for Asa's attentions. He lies wedged against Hubby's side in the evening, watching TV, and growls at me if I try to move him to get some attention of my own.

Same story in the bedroom. Guess who sleeps in the middle?

The only time Bubba views me with less than disdain is when Asa is at work during the week.Then, on occasion, he will sidle up to me and run his full body length along my leg, marking me as 'his person'. He will sing his particular purr and allow me to stroke him and scratch his ears.

If I am particularly lucky, he will chirrup, get that look, and with no further warning, catapult himself to my chest, where I am expected to catch him and boost him to my shouldersso he can wrap himself around my neck. But when Asa is around, he gives me that "who are you?" look and cuddles up to his best human buddy.

I am not cat-challenged, however, because I have my own companions, Jaspurr and Joey, who joined us seven months after the passing of my beloved Shannon, whom you will meet in other features.