Many people interested in personal coaching are interested in creating balance in their lives.
Balance can take many forms, such as between career and home, between people in a relationship, and between work and play, just to name a few.
No matter what kind of balance you are seeking, here are some of the basic things to consider about balance.
1) Balance is not created "in the moment".
There is a common misconception that if you have a balanced life, each moment is balanced.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In order to feel balanced, it is important to view our lives from a bigger perspective: a day, a week, sometimes even a month.
In any given moment, we tend to focus on a particular item (whether work, play, home, love, children, etc.
), so we need to look at the overall fabric of our life to get a true picture of how balanced our life is.
It's all about percentages over the time frame we've chosen.
Pay attention to those numbers! 2) Balance between people operates like a tennis match.
The balance we create with other people follows the same principle as the balance between different areas of our lives and usually revolves around control, either of a situation or the relationship.
For me, the healthiest relationships are those in which the balance of power goes back and forth between the two individuals in that relationship.
Again, in any given moment, only one person is typically in control.
It is the percentage of time as well as the frequency of passing the torch that are the markers of success here.
While it's nice to be in control, there is a lot to be said for the opportunity for not having to be in control.
When we are allowed to move freely between the two, we are personally in balance and at peace.
Our relationships and our lives just work better.
I should also add that there are some relationships which work very well with one party being the dominant person and the other the subordinate person all or almost all of the time.
As long as each person is happy in their role and feels no resentment or sense of being used, then a perfect balance has been achieved! 3) Lack of personal balance creates the stress in our lives.
If you look around at people who feel stressed or overwhelmed, it is usually because they have lost balance somewhere in their lives and they feel incapable of getting that balance back.
One of the best ways to regain balance is to follow your breath for 3 long, slow, deep breaths, holding each part of the breath for as long as you can.
Engage your mind around the process of breathing and then notice how much calmer you are.
At that point, ask yourself "what's the most important thing for me to do right now?" Then DO IT! Action is one of the best cures for stress there is! And taking action on the priority items reduces multiple layers of stress at once.
4) Balance of mind, body and spirit is the same as being "in" integrity.
When we are in balance, in harmony with our mind, body and spirit, that is the same thing as feeling "in" integrity.
For me, integrity is when our actions match our words which match our beliefs.
Being "out" of integrity is another reason we feel out of balance.
I often feel that imbalance in my stomach, while fear tends to reside in my throat.
A great exercise is to start paying attention to what part of your body is affected when you feel "off".
Once you have figured out where the different emotions reside in your body, you will have an excellent clue for where to begin the search for what's wrong.
You'll have a good sense of whether it's fear, lack of integrity, guilt or another emotion, and you can then more quickly identify the specific.
Remember, when you return to living your truth, you will return to balance.
5) Balance is directly linked to the choices we make.
One essential fact about balance is that you can never create balance if you have to fit 36 hours worth of anything into a 24 hour day.
To truly live in balance, we must identify what is really important to us and practice saying no to the rest.
It can be done gently but it must be done firmly.
Don't let other people's lack of balance allow you to go off balance.
I must admit that in the work environment I was someone who always accepted the job (whatever it was) because I thought I had to.
I still vividly remember the first time I heard a co-worker negotiate with our boss about a new assignment.
In a very neutral voice, she listed the top 4 things she was already working on and asked which project the boss wanted her to give up to take on the new one.
That was it, clean and simple.
By the way, she didn't get the new assignment but guess who did!
Balance can take many forms, such as between career and home, between people in a relationship, and between work and play, just to name a few.
No matter what kind of balance you are seeking, here are some of the basic things to consider about balance.
1) Balance is not created "in the moment".
There is a common misconception that if you have a balanced life, each moment is balanced.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
In order to feel balanced, it is important to view our lives from a bigger perspective: a day, a week, sometimes even a month.
In any given moment, we tend to focus on a particular item (whether work, play, home, love, children, etc.
), so we need to look at the overall fabric of our life to get a true picture of how balanced our life is.
It's all about percentages over the time frame we've chosen.
Pay attention to those numbers! 2) Balance between people operates like a tennis match.
The balance we create with other people follows the same principle as the balance between different areas of our lives and usually revolves around control, either of a situation or the relationship.
For me, the healthiest relationships are those in which the balance of power goes back and forth between the two individuals in that relationship.
Again, in any given moment, only one person is typically in control.
It is the percentage of time as well as the frequency of passing the torch that are the markers of success here.
While it's nice to be in control, there is a lot to be said for the opportunity for not having to be in control.
When we are allowed to move freely between the two, we are personally in balance and at peace.
Our relationships and our lives just work better.
I should also add that there are some relationships which work very well with one party being the dominant person and the other the subordinate person all or almost all of the time.
As long as each person is happy in their role and feels no resentment or sense of being used, then a perfect balance has been achieved! 3) Lack of personal balance creates the stress in our lives.
If you look around at people who feel stressed or overwhelmed, it is usually because they have lost balance somewhere in their lives and they feel incapable of getting that balance back.
One of the best ways to regain balance is to follow your breath for 3 long, slow, deep breaths, holding each part of the breath for as long as you can.
Engage your mind around the process of breathing and then notice how much calmer you are.
At that point, ask yourself "what's the most important thing for me to do right now?" Then DO IT! Action is one of the best cures for stress there is! And taking action on the priority items reduces multiple layers of stress at once.
4) Balance of mind, body and spirit is the same as being "in" integrity.
When we are in balance, in harmony with our mind, body and spirit, that is the same thing as feeling "in" integrity.
For me, integrity is when our actions match our words which match our beliefs.
Being "out" of integrity is another reason we feel out of balance.
I often feel that imbalance in my stomach, while fear tends to reside in my throat.
A great exercise is to start paying attention to what part of your body is affected when you feel "off".
Once you have figured out where the different emotions reside in your body, you will have an excellent clue for where to begin the search for what's wrong.
You'll have a good sense of whether it's fear, lack of integrity, guilt or another emotion, and you can then more quickly identify the specific.
Remember, when you return to living your truth, you will return to balance.
5) Balance is directly linked to the choices we make.
One essential fact about balance is that you can never create balance if you have to fit 36 hours worth of anything into a 24 hour day.
To truly live in balance, we must identify what is really important to us and practice saying no to the rest.
It can be done gently but it must be done firmly.
Don't let other people's lack of balance allow you to go off balance.
I must admit that in the work environment I was someone who always accepted the job (whatever it was) because I thought I had to.
I still vividly remember the first time I heard a co-worker negotiate with our boss about a new assignment.
In a very neutral voice, she listed the top 4 things she was already working on and asked which project the boss wanted her to give up to take on the new one.
That was it, clean and simple.
By the way, she didn't get the new assignment but guess who did!
SHARE
