7 People You Want to Avoid in the Hospital Waiting Room

As a doula, I do not spend a lot of time in the waiting room of labor and delivery. All I can say, is, “Thank goodness!” Have you been in one recently? Someone was having a baby and I was there as a guest and not working, so I spent a little bit of time in the waiting room. In that time I figured out there are a few characters that you want to avoid while waiting on a baby.

The (EXTREMELY) Proud Grandparent
Sure, everyone in there is exacted about the new baby coming into the world, but alas, there is one really loud person, always. They are louder, prouder and all that jazz. They can’t help but tell everyone who walks in about the new baby.
The Oversharer
This is the person who can’t wait to share the details of their mom-to-be’s labor and delivery. They will gross out anyone who listens with discussions of bodily fluids and an ever expanding cervix. You can get a pant by blow detail of every single push. (And as an added bonus, they might even show you pictures of the placenta after the baby comes out.)
The Know It All
A slight variation on the Oversharer, is the Know It All. The difference here is that the Know It All (who might actually know something) gives advice to everyone. So you might be lured into a conversation with an Oversharer and let a minor detail slip, like the mom you’re visiting has been there for ten hours and is three centimeters. The Know It All begins to diagnosis what’s going on with the labor and offer advice.
The Chatter
There are actually two types of chatters: those who simply talk to everyone, a lot; and those who talk on their phones incessantly. The former is fairly cheerful and usually can be spotted by their nervous energy. (Or maybe you can see the stack of coffee cups and other caffeinated beverages nearby.) The latter just sits there and goes on for as long as their cell phone batter will allow them to talk. (Pray they forgot the power cord, and if they remembered it, pray there are no plugs!)
The Sleeper
The problem with the sleeper is multi-faceted. If they simply sit in their chair and sleep, it’s great. If they spread out over multiple seats, lay on the floor or snore very loudly – then you’ve got an annoyance on your hands. They can be spotted because of the drool running down their slightly open mouth and a wad of hospital sheets being forged into a make shift pillow. (The one exception to my annoyance here is a partner who is leaving the room to catch a bit of sleep in the middle of a long labor while someone else holds down the fort.)
The Snacker
Snacks per se are not the problem with the snacker. It can either be the quantity of the snack (overwhelming) or the smell of the snacks (also overwhelming). I always try to lead by example and throw my trash away. Sometimes, I’ll make a polite offer to help them clean up their area. Again, it’s usually a nervous energy, coupled with a long day and lack of sleep that drives this character. The Super-snacker is another matter. I’ve been to birth where I am waiting for someone to pull out a grill. In fact, I know of one family who actually tail gated in the parking lot and ran a steady stream of fresh food up to the waiting room. (Maybe I’m just mad that they didn’t share…)
The Pessimist
Of all the people in the room, this one drives me the most nuts – the Pessimist. Nothing is going right. This is the wrong day for mom to be in labor. They don’t like the hospital, the doctor, the nurse. They are mad at mom because they were kicked out of the labor room. (No duh!) And sometimes, when they are done hating on their situation – they move on to yours and tell you why everything is going wrong for you too. This attitude is very contagious and you can watch it spread across the waiting room. It’s not a pretty sight.

So remember, if you have to be in the waiting room, have good manners. And try to avoid these characters! (And if you can’t avoid them, maybe turn this into a game and try to check them off like a list!)

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