It's often been thought that cats are of such a self-sufficient nature that they need no one to be happy; that cats are aloof, snooty and independent, content to just sleep, be fed and petted occasionally.
Perhaps this is the view of those who either don't like cats or have had no experience with them.
Let's face it friends, cats in some ways have gotten a bad rap!! Perhaps I, at one time was influenced by that viewpoint.
As I mentioned in my previous blogs I have always been an avid cat lover.
But, I also must admit there were times in my life where I was frustrated because I couldn't get my cat to do what I wanted him to do.
Does that mean necessarily that they are in no way needing companionship? Hardly the case.
For is it not true that many times we cannot get people to do what we would like them to do..
...
or react the way we'd like them to? I think perhaps the lesson here is that we cannot control other people's actions.
We need to let them have their own personality, though in whatever way it may be different from ours.
It doesn't mean we can't have a close meaningful relationship with them.
It simply means that maybe due to what they were exposed to early in life it affects their reaction to others and ultimately the way they express feelings and emotions.
There's a saying out there that "everything I know I learned from my cat".
I believe my cat Baxter is teaching me to look beneath the surface, to see the emotion not always demonstrated in the "typical" way.
It was about ten years ago that one morning I was getting ready for the day and happened to look out my bathroom window while we were still living in the Pacific Northwest and I happened to see what I will always remember describing as a "really cool cat" sitting on our back patio.
For an instant our eyes locked in a special way that I will never forget.
He had such an unforgettable expression on his face that my husband and I still refer to it as "the look".
At the time we had another beautiful lynx point Siamese cat that we were deeply attached to and when I pointed out the cat on the patio to my husband telling him how adorable he was, his first words to me were, "well, please just don't feed him.
I don't want Katie getting jealous".
Well that 'decree' lasted about a week when we had friends over one evening for a barbeque and my husband "accidentally" dropped a piece of frankfurter onto the cement.
Well, of course you know where this story is going.
Baxter became our foster cat, coming and going and always showing up around mealtime.
At first, he would come only to me and even then it was on his terms.
But after the hotdog incident my husband was now viewed as O.
K.
:) The cat would show up when he was ready and wanting attention.
In many ways that really irritated me because he was such a cool cat and I wanted him around more even though he was basically staying outside.
We found out later from one of the neighbors who had affectionately nicknamed him Mooch, that he definitely made the rounds.
Then I really got irritated because I felt that he was just using our house as a hang-out when it suited him.
But at the same time I was finding myself getting more and more attached to this enigma of a feline.
I'd find myself waking up in the morning to see if he was asleep on the wicker couch on our front porch.
Because it was the Northwest, and it was often raining in the wintertime, he'd found a place out of the elements.
The minute he'd see me at the window, our eyes would lock again, he giving me "the look" and then he'd jump down and run over to the door so I could let him in where he'd rub against me, purr and then allow me to pick him up and hold his frigid body next to me for warmth.
He'd want to be held like a baby and would lay his head on my shoulder and wrap his paws around my arm, hanging on for dear life as they say.
I felt a surge of love and warmth through my deep inward parts that is indescribable even to this day.
I kept wanting to have him around more and more, but yet for some reason he could only give me so much of himself.
The interesting thing about this whole scenario which went on for a few months was that our other cat Katie who had never allowed any other cats even near the house, accepted this cat in.
He always showed her honor when in her presence.
There was no hissing or clawing.
Just companionship...
for however long he chose to stay at a time.
When it was time to feed Katie, Baxter would step in the backdoor and sit very patiently for her to finish so he could eat his food.
So respectful.
It was like in his own way he was finding a way to get his needs satisfied.
Not just needs for food and shelter, but for love and companionship.
The life that Katie lived, indoors, safe from outside elements and harm stood in stark contrast with Baxter who would sit on the porch in the cold with the wind blowing through his fur and then take off down the block and start chasing leaves in the street.
"How can he sit out there like that, like it's a warm summer day?", my husband would ask.
Indeed it was a great mystery.
But, then again, perhaps this was all Baxter had known.
One day, secretly wanting Baxter to be mine and thinking that no one else was claiming him, I went out and bought him a beautiful red collar.
The next day, when he returned for his daily visit, I noticed that the red collar was gone, replaced with a purple one.
Aha, I thought, so he does have a home.
So why is he over here all the time? Then I walked into the kitchen and went to the utility closet getting the broom out to sweep the floor.
Baxter, when seeing the broom, ran like a shot out the door.
At last, a light in my head went on! Baxter wasn't viewed at his 'home' the way we viewed him.
And certainly not treated the way we treated him.
It all made sense.
Baxter was viewed as 'just a cat', a pet to have around when you wanted it, but when he was on your nerves he was kicked out the door...
perhaps with the broom as the prodder.
Baxter was looking for a new home.
Somewhere he would be treated well and it appears that for the most part, that somewhere was our home.
We left his purple collar on him and allowed the current arrangement to continue.
However, he was spending more and more time at our house.
In August of 2001, we took a vacation trip to Arizona (our second one) and determined that we wanted to move there for the climate.
It was never a question of whether we'd take our lynx point, Katie, but the question did arise as to what to do about Baxter.
After all, he wasn't technically our cat, or was he? Did the fact that he spent 95% of his time in or around our house mean he lived there? If you asked him, he would say yes.
And if you asked me, I'd say yes.
I had come to love Baxter very much.
He slept on our bed (along with Katie) he ate at our house and he acted like he wanted to be part of our family.
The downside to all this was that Baxter was still use to being free to roam outside if he chose.
He didn't use a litter box as did Katie and he still got the itch to chase leaves down the street on a windy day.
So what to do! We sold our home in three days and part of the sale agreement was that while we made the first trip down to Phoenix with our belongings, we would have to make a second trip with our business equipment as well as my mom and her furnishings.
So the new owners agreed to let Baxter live on the patio and they would feed him as long as we provided the food and bed for him.
I was so happy.
The main reason for this arrangement with them watching the cat was because my husband was not convinced at this point that Baxter would ever be content to live solely as an indoor cat.
With the heat in Phoenix and the possible threat of coyotes, you really need to keep cats inside for their safety.
So, my husband Jack said that if Baxter could survive for one week at my mom's apartment using a litter box while we were getting our affairs finalized and ready to make the second trip, then that would show that he could adjust and he could go.
"YAY!!", I said.
I had full confidence in 'my boy', Baxter.
After all, he and I were tight.
Well, long story short (and believe me this is anything but a short story:), when we returned from our first sojourn to cactus country, my friend and I drove over to our old house in the pouring rain and as we pulled into the driveway and I walked around to the back patio I saw the bed I had left for Baxter to sleep in.
I was just hoping and praying he'd be there so that I could take him to my mom's apartment.
When he saw me come around the back, his head popped up and our eyes locked once again.
He had the most grateful expression on his furry face almost in a way that said "mom, you came back!!" He immediately ran to me and I picked him up and held him close in my arms.
Baxter did just fine for the next week.
He didn't howl to go out, he used the litter box along with Katie and he was good as gold you might say.
Needless to say, when it came time for us to load the car and the moving van, Katie and Baxter had their seats reserved.
Sad to say, within three weeks of our moving to Phoenix, our beloved Katie began showing signs of serious illness to the point where she could no longer stand up on her own.
It was heartbreaking and it was discovered that she had serious liver disease more than likely, liver cancer.
After 15 years it was time to put Katie down.
As I held that beautiful, precious cat in my arms and they gave her the shot I thought my heart was going to break in two.
Returning home with tear-stained cheeks and a broken heart, I walked into our bedroom and saw Baxter lying on the chair.
He immediately jumped down and came over to me.
It was like he knew.
Katie was gone and he knew things were different.
It was another milestone in our bonding.
For he became the number one cat now, albeit in a gradual way.
The bond has continued unbreakable down to this day.
So while he has his own unique personality and his peculiar moods, I know that he needs me, he needs my husband and he needs to be part of this family.
Remember, he chose us.
He knew what he needed in the form of a family and despite his tumultuous kittenhood, broom and all...
he has a strong need for love and companionship even if it appears to be on his terms at times..
To feel his soft furry, but muscular body lying next to me on the bed or to find him howling almost non-stop when we've been out of town without him, I know he feels the need for closeness as much as I do.
The relationship I have with this wonderful cat has taught me to be grateful for the simplest of things.
No matter how bad things can get economically, if you have close family, you always have something to be grateful for.
When the world seems against us, it's family that keeps us standing straight.
It's this recognition of a very simple fact: no one is an island..
..
..
..
not even a cat..
..
..
that caused Baxter to become the model for one of the characters in my book that I have written.
In my story, The Adventures of Lynx And The Great Cheese Caper, Baxter was the inspiration for the main character Lynx.
Lynx through a variety of life's experiences finally realizes how important family and friends are to him and that no matter how hard you work in life and/or how successful you are, it really means very little without the love of family and friends in your life.
It is my hope that you can have the opportunity to see the depth of character that cats possess, perhaps not only through this blog but in particular through the pages of my children's novel.
So with that being said, I will end this not-so-short story as I hear Baxter getting up and oh my, he's giving me "the look".
To All New Authors and Especially to Those Who Love Cats!! Robin Kanstul