Hi,

I am wondering if I am too old to be wearing a nose piercing. I wear a ring, I've had it for a couple of years, and I really like it. My son who is in his late twenties, is getting married next month into a very conservative family.

He has asked me (against my own will) not to wear my nose piercing in wedding pictures, or in my formal gown. I am very upset because I think this is not his place, and I really do not care what his new wife thinks.

They haven't paid for anything. I bought all the flowers and the cake and I am also paying the deposit on the photographer. Talk about being conservative- especially with money!

The worst part is the bride's mom will also be wearing a white dress and I am very offended by this because I feel it is distasteful.

Who are these people telling me what to do? Can I just wear my nose ring anyway? Or am I truly "over" the appropriate age? Please help. This has become a family war. - Mother of the Groom

Dear Mother of the Groom,

Weddings and funerals can certainly bring out both the best and worst in people. I am sorry you have to deal with what seems "minor" yet is actually "major" to your son and his wife to be.

First I do not think you are too old. I think you should wear whatever you want. However...there is a fine line between expressing yourself and of course looking as though you are "trying too hard" to maintain your youth.

If you are pairing your body piercing with other sorts of things like plaid skirts, Daisy Dukes, cropped tops, etc., you may want to rethink what is "acceptable" and "most flattering" for your body and of course dress in a more becoming manner.

With that aside, it is your son's request, and I think you are taking it too personally because of all the other heightened emotions of the upcoming wedding, including financial obligations and the soon to be other in-laws. You probably feel a little taken advantage of and this is really just the icing on the "cake." No pun intended.

Superstition used to warn both bridesmaids and groomsmen to all wear white, to ward off evil spirits and protect the bride. Not that this is the reason for her mother wearing a white dress, but it is one way to find acceptance of a situation you believe is distasteful. Both issues are quite minor and are not worth fighting over during a time that should be about honoring both the bride's and groom's wishes.

While I understand your perhaps offense and annoyance in the manner, I would suggest you remove your nose ring for just one day, simply because it will make your son happy. And he deserves to be happy. Don't you think?

Sweep the rest under the rug, be happy you are hopefully in a better position to help your son financially, and try to enjoy their special day. Now if they ask you to stop wearing it for any other future events, we may have a problem. In this case, your son is making a small request that you should honor. For whatever reason, this is how he envisions his wedding day, and he has every right to have the wedding of his dreams.

Best of luck to you, and the bride and groom!

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