When I lost my beloved pet cat, Baxter three months ago I kept telling myself that time heals all wounds.
After all isn't that what we're told from the time we get our first 'boo boo'? But, as the hours turned into days and the days turned into weeks, and the initial agonizing pain perhaps lessened, I was left with a void deep inside my soul that was not being filled.
It was like a part of my daily routine of family life was not complete.
It was the craziest thing I think I've ever experienced...
especially since it was related to the loss of an animal.
My husband and I agreed that while we weren't against getting another cat someday, the thought of finding someone to 'replace' Baxter was simply out of the question.
When friends would sympathize with me and then say, "oh, you'll find another kitty soon", I would almost get angry.
I wanted to say, "Don't you get it? I lost Baxter!! This was no ordinary cat, nor was this any ordinary relationship.
" How could they look at it in such simple terms I wondered.
But, as I've mentioned in previous blogs, I had a very unique and kindred bonding with him, so how can you explain such things to people who've perhaps never had that...
you can't.
There was another part of the equasion also.
We still had Bailey, our little female cat who was five years Baxter's junior.
They had an interesting rapport you might say.
But, through all their squabbles and hissing, they really were good friends.
Bailey was missing Baxter.
And when I would look at Bailey it almost made the pain worse as she was all that was left of the team they were together.
But, my husband besides being concerned about my own emotional well-being through all of this, wanted to see how Bailey did on her own.
Would she move into first place? Would she take over his role now that she didn't have to compete for affection? Would she become attached at the hip like he was? Only time would tell.
But in the meantime, the ache and yearning did not go away.
I found myself looking at cat pictures on the internet, You Tube video clips and finally found myself going on to the Humane Society's website to see what cats were available in my area.
While I kept saying I did not want a look-a-like and everything I read regarding the loss of a pet warned against it, I still found myself being drawn back to the brown tabbies.
I did find some cute cats, however I was still plagued with the worry that it was too soon.
I wrestled inwardly between the longing for another male cat and the concern that it wasn't fair to Bailey.
She had played 'second fiddle' to Baxter for five years and now she had us to herself.
Was I short-changing her to add another cat to the mix? Did we really want to take on another cat to take care of? Not only in terms of work, but cost as well? It was one day about two weeks ago that I found myself sinking into somewhat of a depression.
Interestingly, I knew what was causing it.
I missed having the affection of my boy cat.
It was on that next weekend that my husband and I were having our morning coffee that the tears just started flooding down my cheeks and I told him how I was feeling and that I just didn't know what to do to get beyond the feeling that I needed another cat.
I was really beginning to wonder if I'd ever be able to have the special relationship with Bailey that I had hoped for.
He surprised me by telling me that he had been thinking about it and observing both me and Bailey and realized that it was probably time to adopt another one.
I was ecstatic! We both agreed that Bailey really was better at being a companion cat, rather than a solo act.
Two days before this discussion, I had been on Craigslist.
org and had come across a cat that was up for rehoming by a young woman who was allergic to him.
She had prepared a video where it took you through a day with him; playing, chasing leaves and even enjoying a bath.
When I saw this cat, it was the first time I had made a connection with an animal since I first locked eyes with my Baxter ten years ago.
So many of his antics mirrored Bax in his younger years and he just had so much life and energy that my heart nearly skipped a beat.
Since I was not sure at this point where my husband Jack stood emotionally on the adoption phase, I simply sent an email to the cat's owner and complimented her on the excellent video and told her a little bit about our situation with the loss of Baxter, and what an adorable cat she had.
She sent me back an email a few days later (after we decided to adopt again) and thanked me for my compliments and let me know that he was going to be placed with a family.
They were going to take him on a trial and she would probably know within a week or two if it would work for them.
I was crestfallen as I had hoped that since we made our decision to adopt again, that he would still be available.
How could this happen? I had finally found a cat, but he was already spoken for.
I had missed having him by just a couple of days.
I stayed in touch with her by email and let her know that we'd be going to the Humane Society the next day and looking for a cat.
But I did request that she let me know as soon as possible.
But in reality I had to face the fact that with the way this cat looked, who wouldn't keep him? He was adorable and a total clown.
I kept secretly hoping that because the other people hadn't come to take him that maybe she would get frustrated and let me have him instead.
I assured her that he would live the life of luxury sleeping on a down comforter and being able to watch bunnies and birds from the safe confines of a cat stroller.
Well, my writing talent must have come to the fore:) as the very next day, I received an email from her stating that she was very concerned that the first family had still not come to get him and that if we were still interested to give her a call.
She also mentioned that the very things I mentioned in my email about him being able to watch bunnies and birds helped her to see we were the right family for him as those were the things he loved to do.
She had even let her friend, who was also attached to the cat as well, read my emails to confirm her decision and he said without reservation, "these are the people who should have him".
I don't think I ever dialed a number so fast in my life.
We talked for quite a long time and made the arrangements right then and there for her to bring him to our house.
I'm sure she wanted to see where we lived and his new environment and I can certainly appreciate that.
She had raised him and his siblings from the age of two months where some "lovely human" had dumped them under a bush in the heat of summer.
She had placed his brother and sister but had kept him in spite of her allergies, however now it had reached a point where it was making her too ill.
At the age of eight months, he needed a new home.
And we were it!! I have found the cause of my empty feeling..
...
the void is being filled up and our family is complete again.
I didn't just need the passage of time to heal my heart, I needed the soothing balsam of love.
No one can take the place of Baxter and I can't say that my heart has completely healed but to find a cat that has such personality and is so very affectionate just fills the deep hole in such a way that I can move on and make new memories.
He follows us everywhere, loves to be held and cuddled by both of us and is into everything; bringing life to Bailey and keeping her active, not to mention keeping Jack and I in stitches with his facial expressions and antics.
This is one smart cat.
He opens screen doors, closet doors, watches TV and even knows how to open his own food bag.
So with the foregoing said, let me introduce...
"Woody"!