- 1). Determine what sort of party you want to host. If she'd like her family to be a part of the celebration, you don't want it to end up like a frat party. Would she like it to be a huge gala with all of her friends, or an intimate celebration with close friends and family only? Knowing how large the guest list is will help with the planning process.
- 2). Secure a location for the party. If it's an intimate gathering, consider your home or that of a close friend or relative. For example, if you're planning a surprise party, ask his parents to host so it'll be easy to get him there. If the party is going to be a huge event, consider renting a hall or nightclub, depending on the theme of the party.
- 3). Pick a theme for the party. This could revolve around her now being legally old enough to drink and gamble, or simply making her a star for the day. Common 21st birthday themes include a casino theme, disco, Hollywood red carpet, masquerade, nightclub or pub themes.
- 4). Send invitations via the traditional mailed invitations, text messages or even email at least two to four weeks in advance. Mailed invitations are more widely accepted as the proper etiquette, and would be more appropriate for formal parties. Use the invitation to remind everyone that he is turning 21, and let guests know if it's supposed to be a surprise.
- 5). Hire a DJ, caterer, baker, bartender, babysitter or any other services that you need. If you're making the food and cake yourself, plan out your menu and get everything made in advance, if possible. Plan out party favors, games and entertainment. For example, poker games, drinking games, karaoke or any other activities you plan to include.
- 6). Decorate the party space with theme-related decorations. For example, a nightclub party might include a fog or bubble machine, disco ball, neon or black lights and shiny streamers. A casino themed party might include large paper poker chips or playing cards, specifically a "blackjack 21" hand. Include the number "21" in your decorations, if possible. For example, make clusters of 21 flowers or balloons to use as decorations or centerpieces.
- 7). Accompany your spouse to the party in a happy and excited mood. Be attentive to your guests throughout the party, but pay more attention to your wife.
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