Something that I discovered early on, actually back in my first year of college, was that the feelings of attraction don't know if you are in a relationship or not.
Let me explain.
During my first year of college my good friend Jackie got married to a guy that she had been seeing for quite some time.
They had a very nice wedding ceremony and all of the usually festivities.
Not too much time had passed after the nuptials, when I received a phone call from a distraught friend.
It was Jackie, she was having second thoughts about being married.
I, of course like a good friend asked what was going on and what had happened that was giving her second thoughts.
Jackie recounted a story of meeting this guy at the college that she hit it off with.
She told me that she felt a deep attraction to this guy and he asked her out.
She was quick to tell me that she told him that she was married.
Although she felt it was wrong she said that she wanted to explore a possible relationship with this guy.
What Jackie didn't count on was that even though she was in a committed relationship, she could still have feelings toward another person.
What makes us adults and responsible human beings is to not act on an attraction to another person while we are still in a relationship.
It is all right to be attracted to somebody but not all right to act on it.
The advice that I gave her was to decide if this other guy was worth messing up the great relationship that she already has.
As time passed Jackie's infatuation with the other guy faded and she is still happily married.
Jackie eventually spoke to her husband about the attraction.
Keeping the lines of communication open in any relationship is vital to its' viability.
Due to the fact that Jackie was able to communicate her challenges of attraction with her husband they were able to openly discuss how to deal with it the next time it occurred.
In fact several years have passed since that first incident and she and her husband now have a somewhat open relationship.
It turned out that the next attraction challenge she had was with another woman.
Jackie and her husband discussed how to deal with the situation and decided that Jackie would see this woman on occasion.
Jackie to this day does not consider herself a lesbian but acknowledges a deep attraction to this woman.
Jackie has been married for several years now and she and her husband have become full-fledged swingers.
I personally believe that this type of relationship isn't for everybody but, what made their relationship work for them was the fact that they kept the lines of communication open without judgment.
The most important aspect of any committed relationship in my opinion is communication.
Without communication you have nothing.
One cannot expect your partner to intuitively know what is going on in your head; you have to share with them what you are going through.
If the lines of communication are kept open without judgment you will be surprised at the many challenges a couple can work through.
Just remember you as a couple decide how your relationship will work.
Every relationship is different and you together with your partner mold and craft that relationship to your individual and collective happiness.