I was SO DISAPPOINTED.
Integrity.
Hard work.
Honesty.
Family.
These are the things that many people find to be valuable.
There have been many people who have made a great impact in our society, who would embody many of these virtues.
However, these things were attributed to me not long ago, by a few people who I hold in high regard.
And to be totally honest with you, when they said that these things are the things that I value...
I wasn't happy.
This all began when I was challenged by one of my mentors to put my values, my ego, and my beliefs to the test.
He said, "Henry, when you go home tonight I want you to ask your children to be totally honest with you and tell you what they think is important to their daddy.
"He and I had been working through a book that had some practical scenarios to act out that would not only show us how other people see us and why the opinion of others is important sometimes; but it also would show us who's opinion of us can be the most accurate, honest and believable.
He said, "If I ever really want to find out who a guy is, I wouldn't listen to what he had to say about himself; nor would I listen to any of his most ardent opposers.
I would listen most intently to the people who are the closest to him.
I would listen to the people who know him when he's not able to be seen by the rest of the world.
I'd ask his family.
" I think it is true that we can often become someone, outside of our home, that is not necessarily a reflection of who we really and truly are.
Sometimes while in the public eye, whether it be on the job, in our neighborhood, or among our closest friends, the real person doesn't always show up.
I mean, after all, there are certain images that we have to maintain if we are going to live the life that we've come to enjoy and have worked so hard for.
Right?We have to fit in...
be liked...
tow the party line...
and all of the other things that might come along with pursuing the American Dream.
But it seemed that the challenge that my mentor presented shined a light on things that weren't what I thought they were.
Here's why I was so disappointed.
The things that my children said that I valued were all good things, and they were all correct.
I do hold all of those virtues very close to my heart, and I have taught those things to my children, and have told them that they should add all of those things to their personal character--honesty, integrity, hard work, and family.
But what I wanted to hear them say most of all was that daddy valued a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Of course, just because they didn't mention that doesn't mean that they don't think that I value that; but it still leaves me with this question.
Why didn't they mention Christ? Maybe I haven't been living up to the "pastor of my own household" mantra as I should have been for the past nineteen years.
Maybe I've spent too much time preaching the gospel and teaching Christ to the families of others, and not enough time importing what I export.
Maybe I need to take personal inventory and make some real changes at home...
beginning with me.
Have you ever asked your immediate family members to tell you what they believe that you value?Would they mention things that are good?Would that good be good enough?
Integrity.
Hard work.
Honesty.
Family.
These are the things that many people find to be valuable.
There have been many people who have made a great impact in our society, who would embody many of these virtues.
However, these things were attributed to me not long ago, by a few people who I hold in high regard.
And to be totally honest with you, when they said that these things are the things that I value...
I wasn't happy.
This all began when I was challenged by one of my mentors to put my values, my ego, and my beliefs to the test.
He said, "Henry, when you go home tonight I want you to ask your children to be totally honest with you and tell you what they think is important to their daddy.
"He and I had been working through a book that had some practical scenarios to act out that would not only show us how other people see us and why the opinion of others is important sometimes; but it also would show us who's opinion of us can be the most accurate, honest and believable.
He said, "If I ever really want to find out who a guy is, I wouldn't listen to what he had to say about himself; nor would I listen to any of his most ardent opposers.
I would listen most intently to the people who are the closest to him.
I would listen to the people who know him when he's not able to be seen by the rest of the world.
I'd ask his family.
" I think it is true that we can often become someone, outside of our home, that is not necessarily a reflection of who we really and truly are.
Sometimes while in the public eye, whether it be on the job, in our neighborhood, or among our closest friends, the real person doesn't always show up.
I mean, after all, there are certain images that we have to maintain if we are going to live the life that we've come to enjoy and have worked so hard for.
Right?We have to fit in...
be liked...
tow the party line...
and all of the other things that might come along with pursuing the American Dream.
But it seemed that the challenge that my mentor presented shined a light on things that weren't what I thought they were.
Here's why I was so disappointed.
The things that my children said that I valued were all good things, and they were all correct.
I do hold all of those virtues very close to my heart, and I have taught those things to my children, and have told them that they should add all of those things to their personal character--honesty, integrity, hard work, and family.
But what I wanted to hear them say most of all was that daddy valued a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Of course, just because they didn't mention that doesn't mean that they don't think that I value that; but it still leaves me with this question.
Why didn't they mention Christ? Maybe I haven't been living up to the "pastor of my own household" mantra as I should have been for the past nineteen years.
Maybe I've spent too much time preaching the gospel and teaching Christ to the families of others, and not enough time importing what I export.
Maybe I need to take personal inventory and make some real changes at home...
beginning with me.
Have you ever asked your immediate family members to tell you what they believe that you value?Would they mention things that are good?Would that good be good enough?
SHARE
