Being cheated was one of the most devastating and painful experience you could have be it from your girlfriend or spouse.
You might experience intense emotional pains that even your mental health were being affected. The cheating produces mixed emotions that sometimes you do not know where it is really coming from. Your deep-seated personal issues might also surface at this time that could affect how you relate to other people. And so, you need some help in order to manage your other relationships such as with your parents, siblings, office mates, friends, etc during the hard time of your life. Below are some tips that could help you.
1) Assess your relationship with her
Definitely she cheated you for a reason or reasons whatever the reasons are, make your personal assessments. What you might have done or not done to her or for the relationship. Then, get ready (physically and mentally) and plan to talk to her personally.
Your primary goal in talking to her is to know why she cheated you. Just be there to get her answers and try to calm yourself while listening. You are not there for rebuttal, to insult her, or to vent your emotional pains. You just need to understand the contributing factors for the cheating in order to avoid them in your next relationship.
2) Get some space and have proper perspective of your situation
The fact that you were betrayed gives a feeling of heaviness in you. You need some space that you want to ask from her in order to give yourself some composure. You do not want to aggravate the situation by showing some negative emotions or behavior towards her just because you are overwhelmed by your problem.
The space you will give yourself should just be enough for you to think somewhat objectively and your emotions subsided. A week might be just enough because might be detrimental instead of beneficial to work out again the relationship. Your anger might easily develop into bitterness which could lead to unforgiveness.
During the 'space' period, your family or close friends could be a good resource to get proper perspective of the situation. Ask them what have you done or not done that leads for the occurrence of the problem. Also, writing down your thoughts and feelings during the painful situations would help you see things clearer. It will also help you process all your emotions and viewpoint of the matter. The understanding and learnings from your current dilemma would be very helpful for your personal growth and future relationship.
3) Talk to her and get ready to issue your forgiveness
After your 'space' period, set a time to talk to your girlfriend and settle everything. Be honest to tell her about what you have thought and felt after discovering her cheating. Give her also the freedom to give her reasons.
In settling the issue, you may want to talk about things in order to continue the relationship or put some closure to avoid unfinished business to both of you. Both of you must decide before proceeding to your conversation.
Whether you decide to part ways or continue the relationship, it is very helpful for you and for her to forgive her wrongdoings. It is for your good so that your physical, mental, and emotional health will not suffer. To her, it would free her from guilt that could ruin your relationship (if you decide to continue).
4) Decide to move on with or without your girlfriend
In every aftermath of betrayal or cheating, your decision to go on with your life is a must towards getting healed inside and out. This is a stable foundation to enjoying life once again in spite of or despite of the circumstances of your life.
You might experience intense emotional pains that even your mental health were being affected. The cheating produces mixed emotions that sometimes you do not know where it is really coming from. Your deep-seated personal issues might also surface at this time that could affect how you relate to other people. And so, you need some help in order to manage your other relationships such as with your parents, siblings, office mates, friends, etc during the hard time of your life. Below are some tips that could help you.
1) Assess your relationship with her
Definitely she cheated you for a reason or reasons whatever the reasons are, make your personal assessments. What you might have done or not done to her or for the relationship. Then, get ready (physically and mentally) and plan to talk to her personally.
Your primary goal in talking to her is to know why she cheated you. Just be there to get her answers and try to calm yourself while listening. You are not there for rebuttal, to insult her, or to vent your emotional pains. You just need to understand the contributing factors for the cheating in order to avoid them in your next relationship.
2) Get some space and have proper perspective of your situation
The fact that you were betrayed gives a feeling of heaviness in you. You need some space that you want to ask from her in order to give yourself some composure. You do not want to aggravate the situation by showing some negative emotions or behavior towards her just because you are overwhelmed by your problem.
The space you will give yourself should just be enough for you to think somewhat objectively and your emotions subsided. A week might be just enough because might be detrimental instead of beneficial to work out again the relationship. Your anger might easily develop into bitterness which could lead to unforgiveness.
During the 'space' period, your family or close friends could be a good resource to get proper perspective of the situation. Ask them what have you done or not done that leads for the occurrence of the problem. Also, writing down your thoughts and feelings during the painful situations would help you see things clearer. It will also help you process all your emotions and viewpoint of the matter. The understanding and learnings from your current dilemma would be very helpful for your personal growth and future relationship.
3) Talk to her and get ready to issue your forgiveness
After your 'space' period, set a time to talk to your girlfriend and settle everything. Be honest to tell her about what you have thought and felt after discovering her cheating. Give her also the freedom to give her reasons.
In settling the issue, you may want to talk about things in order to continue the relationship or put some closure to avoid unfinished business to both of you. Both of you must decide before proceeding to your conversation.
Whether you decide to part ways or continue the relationship, it is very helpful for you and for her to forgive her wrongdoings. It is for your good so that your physical, mental, and emotional health will not suffer. To her, it would free her from guilt that could ruin your relationship (if you decide to continue).
4) Decide to move on with or without your girlfriend
In every aftermath of betrayal or cheating, your decision to go on with your life is a must towards getting healed inside and out. This is a stable foundation to enjoying life once again in spite of or despite of the circumstances of your life.
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