The Importance of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah

The Age of Obligation

In Judaism children are not expected to observe the commandments. Becoming a bar (or bat) mitzvah means "son (or daughter) of commandment." That status means a child is now obligated to observe the commandments as an adult would. He can now lead religious ceremonies, and must take responsibility for his actions in life. He is old enough to enter into contracts and to marry, but becoming a bar mitzvah is really more about learning responsibility and knowing the difference between right and wrong.

A religious ceremony is typically held at a synagogue during Shabbat services, which are on a Saturday morning. Here, the child is called to the Torah for the first time. This is called the first aliyah, meaning going up to the bima, the platform from which the Torah is read. A blessing is read over the Torah, and the bar mitzvah reads the Haftorah portion, a section from Biblical prophets. Depending on the service, the bar mitzvah celebrant may lead a portion of the services himself. He also may make a speech about becoming a man. At many services, the father will also offer a blessing.

After the service, family and friends gather at a banquet hall for a celebration. There is usually a lunch or dinner, music and dancing. The bar mitzvah celebrant will make an important speech about the religious and personal importance of the day. If you have never danced the Hava Nagila, a Hebrew folk song, you will be taken by the hand and led in a circle around the dance floor. Have fun dancing as your friend or relative is hoisted up in the air and admired.

Gifts are appropriate, but don't make a big display of them at the synagogue. Keep them with you until the reception. Buy gifts that are age appropriate, and don't feel they have to be of religious significance. Check at websites or stores that specialize in Judaica for ideas about gifts, and if you give money, a traditional idea for an amount is a multiple of 18. Hebrew letters have a numerical value, and 18 indicates the word "life." In general, though, gifts tend to be contemporary things like computer gadgets and music players. The party is a big part of the day, but the true significance of a bar mitzvah is entering a new religious maturity.