Health & Medical Mental Health

Is One Really the Loneliest Number?

Individuation is all about discovering oneself. What makes you different from those around you? What is it that makes you, you? It can take time to sort through your personality traits and truly discover all the intricate parts that make up who you are and how all those things make you unique from someone else. Yet at the same time, can one truly discover who he or she is on their own?

Throughout our lives we encounter people, live in communities, own pets, and interact with all sorts of other living beings. We form relationships and connections with them. Each of these connections, even brief ones, can leave an impact upon who we are and add to the way we change. This type of interaction is another huge part of what individuation is. After the internal focus of the individual comes the €equally indispensable process of objective relationship.€ The €objects€ in this light are the living beings we form relationship with. This interaction is essential to how we grow and see ourselves. Indeed, it has already been shown that even chimpanzees without proper parental interaction in the early stages of life deal with issues later on and, in some cases, died.

Are we really connected?

Today we live in a world where many say that we are more connected than ever. Technically this is true. At any given moment a person can call, text, message, or even video chat with another person. All this technology allows us to connect with one another over vast distances. This can be useful for many people, such as business men and women, or people in the military. But any one of them will quickly note that conducting a meeting or greeting in person carried much more weight. In business you can get more of a feel for who you are working with, even if it is just through a handshake. And a hug from a husband or parent who has been away for a long time matters so much more than a telephone call. How often have people said the simple phrase of, €Thanks for being there,€ when they required nothing more than another person's presence?

Even quality psychotherapists realize the benefits of face-to-face meetings with others. That personal touch, that sense of being with another human being makes a huge difference in the person's life. Even though the person is having a difficult time and may not be sure of who they are or what they want, when they have another person there to help them, they can gain a kind of clarity they may have never found on their own. Whether you are a psychotherapist or a rock climber, it can be extremely beneficial to connect with others - individuals who are going through a similar process of individuating.

Can we individuate alone?

Even a hermit isn't truly alone. Those who seek to live away from humans instead form relationships with other living things around them, such as plants and animals. This becomes a part of who they are. Still, some of the most well-known hermits still had human contact from time to time. It is difficult, maybe even impossible, to individuate alone. You may start out on a journey in that fashion only to realize that you meet people on the way with the same goals. You may connect with them and discover something about yourself in the process.

Could you climb a mountain alone? Would you want to? You may try, but you are likely to meet people along the way. And you may realize that the more difficult the climb becomes, the more likely you are to require help from others. Consider this simple fact; only one man has ever climbed Mount Everest alone - and that was only after he first summated with another person.
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