By the time you're a grownup, you've probably been to quite a few catered affairs - parties too big to be held in someone's living room.
So they're in ballrooms or tents with hired catering and entertainment.
What percentage would you say were really really fun and special? I'm going to be VERY generous here and say 30% of the ones I've attended were.
That means 70% of the hosts who spent tons of money trying to create a truly fine time did not succeed.
Most Big Parties Bomb Strangely, some of those hosts are exciting and interesting people and, when you go to their house for a smaller gathering, it's wonderful.
But their big parties totally bomb.
Ever spend a 5-hour wedding sitting at a large round table trying to read the lips of a fellow guest you can't hear and who's probably not very interesting anyway so who cares? Ever furtively checked your watch at a bar mitzvah thinking a half hour MUST have passed by now but it's actually only been 10 minutes and, even though you're not really religious, you find yourself praying for dessert to come so you can take a bite and flee? Yeah - I see your hands up - you know what I'm talking about.
How hard is it REALLY to throw a great party? And why are so many of our dearest and otherwise fun friends failing so miserably? Biggest Reasons Big Parties Are So Boring

• Hosts don't know how to put their personalities into a big party.
  Face it, the more you delegate, the less "you" the party becomes.
  And with a big party, you're forced to delegate nearly everything.
  You can't cook and serve; you can't put your own music mixes on the player.
  You can't even physically talk to anyone for very long if you're going to get around to everyone.
  
• When your personality isn't stamped on the party, it gets its flavor instead from your vendors - DJ or band, decorator, party planner and caterer.
  And a lot of vendors only have one flavor.
  They're on auto-pilot and do parties the same way over and over again.
  This leads to "Ground Hog Day Syndrome," the experience we've all had that we keep waking up and attending the same party over and over.
  
• Hosts pay extreme attention to details that don't matter and almost no attention to ones that do.
  The most important thing to do at a party is make guests feel great physically and emotionally.
  Yet many hosts will overcrowd a room, allow the music to get too loud to talk, put strangers together at a table with no ice-breakers and do other things that try the patience of the guests instead of delighting them.
  
• People try to shove excitement in from the outside, rather than bringing it out of the inside of their guests.
  Real fun doesn't come from elaborate entertainment.
  It comes from making guests feel happy and inspired so THEY make the party fun.
  

Anyone can learn to give better parties.
Look for good advice online - or from books like mine - and be very strong with your vendors about including details that really reflect your values and personality.
If you'll just remember the four points above, you'll be on your way to having a great party, and you'll feel better about spending that $20,000 on the wedding or bar mitzvah because you'll know the experience will be priceless.