Wedding planning is a great time for fights, misunderstandings and hurt feelings for everyone.
May I remind you, you're getting married because you love one another.
Now it is possible that things could come out during this process that would make you have second or even third thoughts about one another.
But mostly, it's the wedding planning.
And it's so easy to avoid.
And when we avoid it, we start to build up resentment.
Great! So now, we're walking around carrying an entire load of bad feelings and seething resentment about the person we're working hard preparing to marry.
This happens frequently.
But you know what? You don't need to let it happen! Try this.
If there's something little that's really annoying you, write it down and put it in a box with a lid.
Say as you close the box, "It does not serve me to obsess about this, this is finished.
" If in a short period of time you find that, in fact, you're not finished, you're going to need to deal with it.
Earlier rather than later.
Premarital counseling was constructed to help you deal with issues of marriage.
But it's a great thing for dealing with wedding planning.
(Did you know that it's more stressful to get married than to get a divorce?" With a divorce you just have to break up a family, find a new house and move out.
With a wedding you have to start a family, find a new house and move in - together.
And you need to plan a party for 9 million people and arrange for food, a band and wedding favors.
(And of course because you're following me, you have to create a wedding ceremony that reflects your relationship and solicits support from your community, AND craft wedding vows that will be the bedrock for your happily and healthily ever after marriage.
) Bring it up early.
When something is bothering you, bring it up.
Do not stew over the unfairness of something.
Clear the air.
Nothing can be resolved until you speak up.
Do not be accusatory.
Do not whine.
Bring it up.
Get it out into the open and when the two of you fix it, you can get back to work planning your wonderful wedding to your spectacular spouse.
It's just a fight.
You'll have more of them.
Figure out how to do it well early in your relationship.
This is the best wedding present you will ever give yourselves.
May I remind you, you're getting married because you love one another.
Now it is possible that things could come out during this process that would make you have second or even third thoughts about one another.
But mostly, it's the wedding planning.
- If what you're doing is making you crazy, maybe you're not doing the right things.
Check and see if there aren't ways you could do things differently. - If the two of you are making one another crazy, maybe there's too much stress.
Same recipe for fixing it. - If there's something that your partner is doing that's really bugging you, you may need to talk about it.
And it's so easy to avoid.
And when we avoid it, we start to build up resentment.
Great! So now, we're walking around carrying an entire load of bad feelings and seething resentment about the person we're working hard preparing to marry.
This happens frequently.
But you know what? You don't need to let it happen! Try this.
If there's something little that's really annoying you, write it down and put it in a box with a lid.
Say as you close the box, "It does not serve me to obsess about this, this is finished.
" If in a short period of time you find that, in fact, you're not finished, you're going to need to deal with it.
Earlier rather than later.
Premarital counseling was constructed to help you deal with issues of marriage.
But it's a great thing for dealing with wedding planning.
(Did you know that it's more stressful to get married than to get a divorce?" With a divorce you just have to break up a family, find a new house and move out.
With a wedding you have to start a family, find a new house and move in - together.
And you need to plan a party for 9 million people and arrange for food, a band and wedding favors.
(And of course because you're following me, you have to create a wedding ceremony that reflects your relationship and solicits support from your community, AND craft wedding vows that will be the bedrock for your happily and healthily ever after marriage.
) Bring it up early.
When something is bothering you, bring it up.
Do not stew over the unfairness of something.
Clear the air.
Nothing can be resolved until you speak up.
Do not be accusatory.
Do not whine.
Bring it up.
Get it out into the open and when the two of you fix it, you can get back to work planning your wonderful wedding to your spectacular spouse.
It's just a fight.
You'll have more of them.
Figure out how to do it well early in your relationship.
This is the best wedding present you will ever give yourselves.
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