In the first article in this series, we discussed how effective and frequent prospecting sets the stage for each and every step that follows. Without prospecting, nothing else can happen. But prospecting in and of itself won't bring you any closer to closing a sale or landing a job. Prospecting is the launching pad on your journey.

The first stop on your journey after launching is building rapport and building trust.

When you think about it, how often have purchased something or continued a relationship with someone that you did not trust? Building trust in an interviewing or sales cycle paves the way for the rest of the steps. Without trust, you will either be dead in the water or will have to work much harder in subsequent steps that if you had developed rapport and trust.

The Golden Rule

Grab a sheet of paper and a pen and write this down. "If people like you, they will find a reason and a way to buy from you or hire you. If you do not like you, they will find a way or reason to not buy from or hire you."

What this means is that without rapport, your sales or interview cycle is either doomed or will include numerous obstacles. But getting people to like you is not as easy as bringing them a few donuts or tickets to the big game. In fact, delivering gifts often has the opposite effect and can make people question your motives. (More on building trust later, but suffice it to say that relying on gifts to build rapport is seldom a good strategy.)

When the person sitting across from you during a meeting likes and feels comfortable with you, he will be more open, forgiving, friendly and will be more open to moving on to the next steps. When they do not like you, they will be guarded, secretive and resistant to your suggestions. Mirror and Match One of the most commonly used and easily implemented rapport building skills is the "mirror and matching" technique.

In short, "mirror and match" means to mimic the person with whom you are meeting. Match their vocal patterns, including tempo and volume, as well as their body posture. If they are sitting in a relaxed manner, you should sit in a relaxed manner. If they are sitting with their arms folded, fold your arms. Matching their tone and tempo of their voice is important since the manner in which someone speaks is a strong indicator of their personality. If you are meeting with someone who talks slow and low and you, in stereotypical sales professional fashion, are speaking loudly and quickly, you are presenting yourself as someone very different from the other person in the meeting.

While opposites may attract, opposites repel in most sales cycles. People generally like people who are similar to them. Think about your closest friends. Do they share some of your personality traits as well as have the same interests as you? Most likely, your friends are variations of you. Mirror and Matching tells the person you are meeting with that you are similar to them, allowing you to build begin building rapport and trust.

Common Interests

Pretending that you like everything the other person likes will instantly destroy any initial rapport and eliminate your chances of building trust. However, if you can find some common interests and use these interests as a communication focal point, your rapport and trust will instantly increase.

Most of the people you will meet with give you all the information you will need to discover any common interests that you share. They do this by how they dress, how organized (or messy) their work space is and any decorations they have in their office or space. Take a few seconds to glance around the room you are meeting in and look for anything that you would place in your office. If you are a baseball fan (hopefully a Yankee fan) look for pictures of players, team schedules or paraphernalia. If you notice anything that you relate to, try to make mention of the object before discussing business. Doing so not only puts both parties at ease but also opens the door for conversation to follow that is on the personal level as opposed to purely professional conversations.

When Rapport is not an Option

Despite your best efforts, there will be times that people simply will not like or trust you. Beyond not taking it personally, the best advice is simply to decide whether or not you can advance the sales or interviewing process with someone who is not a fan of you or not. If you reasonable feel that rapport is not a critical success component, then continue trying to advance through the cycle. If you feel that you are going nowhere fast, then either hand off the opportunity to a co-worker or simply professionally end the sales or interview cycle.

If you've done a thorough enough job with prospecting, you should have several other opportunities to explore and should see throwing in the towel as throwing your energies towards someone who can appreciate your personality more than someone who make bond better with a co-worker.