Dear Lesbian Life:
Normally I notice cute guys and go, "Yeah, they’re cute," but really nothing more than that happens. I will be the first to admit that I have a few crushes on celebrity men, especially Doctor Who. I came out as lesbian a few months ago and after talking to other lesbians, I was finally able to come out. Thing is, I have sort of a crush on my gay guy friend. It's not really sexual, I mean if it were to happen somehow, I'd be OK with it, but it's not something I want to actually initiate full on sex wise. I just think he's super sexy and hot, and sometimes I do catch myself wanting to kiss him on the lips but, really, that's about it; no relationship with him, just kiss him on occasion and possibly snuggle afterwards, though we do that sort of already.
To let you know he looks like a super hot GQ male model version of Tommy Torres I told our mutual friend I thought he was cute and sexy and she said, "Ha are you even really a lesbian?" When they said that, though I know they were possibly teasing me, it made me wonder. I mean I know I am gay deep down, it's what feels right to me. I know I don't want relationships with men, and after really thinking about it, if I was with him, we would probably be happy for a bit, but I'm sure it would fade and we would end up resenting each other.
Do other lesbians have crushes on guys? Like, want to kiss their gay guy friends on the mouth because they look like male models but don't want relationships with them because that just doesn't feel right?
Don't know the rules gay girl
Especially if they’ve been out longer than you.
See, the thing is, no two people are alike and no two people do lesbian in the same way. Being a lesbian basically means that you are attracted to women and see yourself having primary relationships with women. The attraction will be physical, emotional and sexual.
You can know you’re a lesbian before you ever even have a relationship with another woman. Before you’ve ever has sex with or even kissed a woman. Your sexual orientation is something that you know deep down inside you. Other people might try to tell you what you are or are not, but only you really know.
Some people will say that if you’re attracted to even one man, that you must be bisexual. Some people will say if you sleep with one man that you’re bisexual. But sometimes attraction just happens. It can happen for lesbian women. It can happen for straight women too. Sexuality is more fluid than a lot of us are willing to admit, but as early as the 1940s, Dr. Alfred Kinsey learned that sexual orientation is not an either/or type situation, rather it’s a scale.
Don’t let your friends determine who you are. Ask yourself. Take on the label you feel most comfortable with. And also know that things can shift and change over time. That’s the beauty of being human.
Normally I notice cute guys and go, "Yeah, they’re cute," but really nothing more than that happens. I will be the first to admit that I have a few crushes on celebrity men, especially Doctor Who. I came out as lesbian a few months ago and after talking to other lesbians, I was finally able to come out. Thing is, I have sort of a crush on my gay guy friend. It's not really sexual, I mean if it were to happen somehow, I'd be OK with it, but it's not something I want to actually initiate full on sex wise. I just think he's super sexy and hot, and sometimes I do catch myself wanting to kiss him on the lips but, really, that's about it; no relationship with him, just kiss him on occasion and possibly snuggle afterwards, though we do that sort of already.
To let you know he looks like a super hot GQ male model version of Tommy Torres I told our mutual friend I thought he was cute and sexy and she said, "Ha are you even really a lesbian?" When they said that, though I know they were possibly teasing me, it made me wonder. I mean I know I am gay deep down, it's what feels right to me. I know I don't want relationships with men, and after really thinking about it, if I was with him, we would probably be happy for a bit, but I'm sure it would fade and we would end up resenting each other.
Do other lesbians have crushes on guys? Like, want to kiss their gay guy friends on the mouth because they look like male models but don't want relationships with them because that just doesn't feel right?
Don't know the rules gay girl
Dear Gay Gal
What a great question. What makes someone a lesbian? If she has a crush on a gay guy and wants to kiss him, does that disqualify her? And who gets to say if you’re a lesbian or not? Do you get to call yourself one, or do your friends get to tell you?Especially if they’ve been out longer than you.
See, the thing is, no two people are alike and no two people do lesbian in the same way. Being a lesbian basically means that you are attracted to women and see yourself having primary relationships with women. The attraction will be physical, emotional and sexual.
You can know you’re a lesbian before you ever even have a relationship with another woman. Before you’ve ever has sex with or even kissed a woman. Your sexual orientation is something that you know deep down inside you. Other people might try to tell you what you are or are not, but only you really know.
Some people will say that if you’re attracted to even one man, that you must be bisexual. Some people will say if you sleep with one man that you’re bisexual. But sometimes attraction just happens. It can happen for lesbian women. It can happen for straight women too. Sexuality is more fluid than a lot of us are willing to admit, but as early as the 1940s, Dr. Alfred Kinsey learned that sexual orientation is not an either/or type situation, rather it’s a scale.
Don’t let your friends determine who you are. Ask yourself. Take on the label you feel most comfortable with. And also know that things can shift and change over time. That’s the beauty of being human.
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