There are some things in life that never change however you might want to consider or examine them such as man being always dependent on air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink; in very much the same way, there are four stages any love relationship between a man and woman must evolve through.
Getting a better understanding and seeing how best this knowledge gained can be put to use will not only help reduce the stress and tension couples go through, it will also aid in promoting a better, stable, peaceful, enjoyable married life between the couples concerned.
It is okay to say upfront that these four stages are really not anything new nor are they recent discovery at all howbeit, these are everyday, all weather phenomenon with any relationship aimed to last and equally endure the test of time and the vicissitudes of life.
The four stages are: 1.
Coming (Uncut Gemstones) This is the stage where the two individuals in the love relationship start out on first attraction, toast or woo one another, develop as friends, graduate through the stage of courtship and enter into a lifetime agreement in marriage as husband and wife to start a new life and a new home together.
Suffice to say that it is in this stage the two lovebirds go all out to impress each other, being at their utmost best, hiding flaws, etc.
It is usually culminated on the wedding night (or honeymoon).
This stage can be likened to bringing two rough edged stones together into one container, the reason it is referred to as the Uncut Gemstones for a better understanding in picture form.
2.
Storming (Friction and Heat) This second stage begins the day after the honeymoon period and it is the point where both couples remove every 'garb' or cloak of disguise and begins to exhibit their true nature or real self.
At this stage, each individual in the home tries to exert (based on their thought pattern, persuasions, beliefs, schooling, experience and feedback from real life marriage situations) some commensurate level of influence with regards to how the relationship and living together as husband and wife should be.
They end up 'stepping on each others toes' and 'rubbing against each other' thereby generating friction and heat around them.
At this stage, the couples start to discover the true and real self to their partner in the love relationship.
Fear is done away with and each one of the parties involved tries to create and lay claim to a percentage of the marriage.
Indeed, there is a lot of friction (picture two uncut, raw and rough edged Gemstones placed together in a sealed container with the container shaken vigorously a couple of times) and rubbing each other several times the odd way.
3.
Forming (Smoothing and Blending) At this stage, both couples have discovered so many things about their partner, the temperament, the mood swings, the areas of strength, the weaknesses, fears and reaction to events and situations.
After all the pushing, shoving, jostling and exertion of influence to dominate a commensurate area or turf in the relationship, the couples at this stage have smoothed out the rough edges to their personality.
They now have a better and a more intimate understanding of one another and can easily accommodate and readily adapt to each other's needs and desires.
They have finally learn to blend with each other and are prepared to work together at making their relationship and marriage work.
4.
Norming (Normalcy) At this stage, the couples are at their best in the area of compatibility.
Much as obtains in Management style called S.
W.
O.
T.
to a great extent forms the basis and the platform they launch from.
Things return back to normal with the relationship and the couples realizing the individual areas of S -STRENGTHS possessed that can be harnessed W -WEAKNESSES discovered that can be worked upon O -OPPORTUNITIES available that can be exploited T -THREATS posed that can be limited They start to enjoy their relationship and move on to pursue their dreams and goals in life at making their relationship work and grow to become a longer lasting one.
Getting an understanding of the stages any relationship and/or marriage evolves through will not only get you prepared, it will help you to weather the storms or any pressure you may be facing.
Rather than start (or continue) to lay blame on your partner, understanding the stage your relationship/marriage is at will help you know the correct or right reaction and approach you should adopt in handling whatever situation you may be in.
Not only will you get to appreciate your relationship and your partner better, you will also get the opportunity not to do damage to the love, trust and hope of a sweet life together as husband and wife in your marriage.
Getting a better understanding and seeing how best this knowledge gained can be put to use will not only help reduce the stress and tension couples go through, it will also aid in promoting a better, stable, peaceful, enjoyable married life between the couples concerned.
It is okay to say upfront that these four stages are really not anything new nor are they recent discovery at all howbeit, these are everyday, all weather phenomenon with any relationship aimed to last and equally endure the test of time and the vicissitudes of life.
The four stages are: 1.
Coming (Uncut Gemstones) This is the stage where the two individuals in the love relationship start out on first attraction, toast or woo one another, develop as friends, graduate through the stage of courtship and enter into a lifetime agreement in marriage as husband and wife to start a new life and a new home together.
Suffice to say that it is in this stage the two lovebirds go all out to impress each other, being at their utmost best, hiding flaws, etc.
It is usually culminated on the wedding night (or honeymoon).
This stage can be likened to bringing two rough edged stones together into one container, the reason it is referred to as the Uncut Gemstones for a better understanding in picture form.
2.
Storming (Friction and Heat) This second stage begins the day after the honeymoon period and it is the point where both couples remove every 'garb' or cloak of disguise and begins to exhibit their true nature or real self.
At this stage, each individual in the home tries to exert (based on their thought pattern, persuasions, beliefs, schooling, experience and feedback from real life marriage situations) some commensurate level of influence with regards to how the relationship and living together as husband and wife should be.
They end up 'stepping on each others toes' and 'rubbing against each other' thereby generating friction and heat around them.
At this stage, the couples start to discover the true and real self to their partner in the love relationship.
Fear is done away with and each one of the parties involved tries to create and lay claim to a percentage of the marriage.
Indeed, there is a lot of friction (picture two uncut, raw and rough edged Gemstones placed together in a sealed container with the container shaken vigorously a couple of times) and rubbing each other several times the odd way.
3.
Forming (Smoothing and Blending) At this stage, both couples have discovered so many things about their partner, the temperament, the mood swings, the areas of strength, the weaknesses, fears and reaction to events and situations.
After all the pushing, shoving, jostling and exertion of influence to dominate a commensurate area or turf in the relationship, the couples at this stage have smoothed out the rough edges to their personality.
They now have a better and a more intimate understanding of one another and can easily accommodate and readily adapt to each other's needs and desires.
They have finally learn to blend with each other and are prepared to work together at making their relationship and marriage work.
4.
Norming (Normalcy) At this stage, the couples are at their best in the area of compatibility.
Much as obtains in Management style called S.
W.
O.
T.
to a great extent forms the basis and the platform they launch from.
Things return back to normal with the relationship and the couples realizing the individual areas of S -STRENGTHS possessed that can be harnessed W -WEAKNESSES discovered that can be worked upon O -OPPORTUNITIES available that can be exploited T -THREATS posed that can be limited They start to enjoy their relationship and move on to pursue their dreams and goals in life at making their relationship work and grow to become a longer lasting one.
Getting an understanding of the stages any relationship and/or marriage evolves through will not only get you prepared, it will help you to weather the storms or any pressure you may be facing.
Rather than start (or continue) to lay blame on your partner, understanding the stage your relationship/marriage is at will help you know the correct or right reaction and approach you should adopt in handling whatever situation you may be in.
Not only will you get to appreciate your relationship and your partner better, you will also get the opportunity not to do damage to the love, trust and hope of a sweet life together as husband and wife in your marriage.
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