Having and maintaining a relationship requires a high level of maturity.
A serious relationship for example a marriage is a form of business alliance on a personal level.
A marriage requires highly competent individuals.
Unfortunately, there are some individuals who jump feet first into a relationship yet they are not competent to stand in a serious relationship.
Marriage is serious business.
It is not for the faint of heart.
In order to be ready for a marriage one has to be ready in heart, mind, body and soul.
How do we get ready? Well, we first need to be committed to working on our self-growth and that way we will attract a partner who is also committed to working on their self-growth.
A marriage has two people who have a different set of emotions and different sets of issues.
If we are unable to heal our issues how are we going to be strong enough to handle issues that arise in a marriage? Therefore it is important that we are mature enough to have certain discussions when the relationship we are in is getting serious and before getting married.
If we take the time to commit to growing ourselves to become mature adults then we are on our way to affair-proofing our marriage.
The next step is for the two people who are involved in the relationship to have a candid and open discussion regarding their expectations within the marriage if and when an affair does happen.
Discussing the chances of an affair occurring should have the same ranking as a pre-nup.
It should be discussed before the marriage.
A lot of women set themselves up by not including that in their pre-marital discussions.
Both she and her partner should know where the other stands on issues of affair.
It is very important to not leave anything to chance in your marriage.
While no one can predict what is going to happen down the road, knowing before hand how each person feels about affairs will strengthen the marriage bond.
And if there happens to be a slip-up, both parties should be mature enough to discuss it and find out what caused it to happen.
They should figure if the marriage is in trouble, does the individual wants out of the marriage or do they want to work on making the marriage stronger.
However if the marriage was not strong before and was built on lack of respect, trust and deep intimacy then an affair is the first sign that the marriage is not working.
Men deserve happiness in the same way women do.
A man may despise having an affair, but he may have grown up seeing his father and the men around him behaving the same way and seeing his mother and other women stick by their husbands.
So, while mentally he may know that having an affair is not the right step, sub-consciously he has been taught that it is okay because the women will still stick around.
There are women who grew up seeing their mother's putting up with their father's behaviour while suffering silently.
So these women grow up with the resolve to not put with that kind of behaviour.
Men like women are simply acting out what they saw their own parents doing.
However, there is a different approach.
Simply learning from our parent's mistakes is not enough.
We are still prone to repeating their behaviours that we saw while growing up.
When we begin to grasp that few if any of us were taught how to be emotionally mature or how to develop our emotional selves we will begin to define a different life for ourselves.
Rather than criticize a man or woman who is having an affair it would help if we understood where the behaviour is coming from.
Some of us may not even realize that we are behaving just like our parents.
Instead of focusing solely on why men cheat or have affairs, let us begin to focus on how to develop our emotional self so that we do not engage in emotionally immature behaviours.
Whenever a man cheats, there is a woman present who is being cheated on.
It is easy to point fingers.
However, assigning blame is also an immature behaviour.
It is important for a woman to be mature and take responsibility for her own insecurities which led her to get involved with a man who is also insecure.
Sadly, many women take it personal when a man is unfaithful.
That may be because she has looked to him for her happiness.
She needs to understand that when her partner is unfaithful, it is about his issues and not about her.
When he lies about it, then it becomes about her, because now he is disrespecting her by lying to her.
Unfortunately, many relationships crumble because of this particular lack of understanding.
However, if a partner is honest and straightforward it is possible for the marriage to be recover.
This is where maturity and commitment to working on the marriage comes into play.
So while it is not possible to predict the future and we do not know what our response will be when it does occur, by being prepared for we at least have an advantage when we do find our relationship in the middle of an affair.
A serious relationship for example a marriage is a form of business alliance on a personal level.
A marriage requires highly competent individuals.
Unfortunately, there are some individuals who jump feet first into a relationship yet they are not competent to stand in a serious relationship.
Marriage is serious business.
It is not for the faint of heart.
In order to be ready for a marriage one has to be ready in heart, mind, body and soul.
How do we get ready? Well, we first need to be committed to working on our self-growth and that way we will attract a partner who is also committed to working on their self-growth.
A marriage has two people who have a different set of emotions and different sets of issues.
If we are unable to heal our issues how are we going to be strong enough to handle issues that arise in a marriage? Therefore it is important that we are mature enough to have certain discussions when the relationship we are in is getting serious and before getting married.
If we take the time to commit to growing ourselves to become mature adults then we are on our way to affair-proofing our marriage.
The next step is for the two people who are involved in the relationship to have a candid and open discussion regarding their expectations within the marriage if and when an affair does happen.
Discussing the chances of an affair occurring should have the same ranking as a pre-nup.
It should be discussed before the marriage.
A lot of women set themselves up by not including that in their pre-marital discussions.
Both she and her partner should know where the other stands on issues of affair.
It is very important to not leave anything to chance in your marriage.
While no one can predict what is going to happen down the road, knowing before hand how each person feels about affairs will strengthen the marriage bond.
And if there happens to be a slip-up, both parties should be mature enough to discuss it and find out what caused it to happen.
They should figure if the marriage is in trouble, does the individual wants out of the marriage or do they want to work on making the marriage stronger.
However if the marriage was not strong before and was built on lack of respect, trust and deep intimacy then an affair is the first sign that the marriage is not working.
Men deserve happiness in the same way women do.
A man may despise having an affair, but he may have grown up seeing his father and the men around him behaving the same way and seeing his mother and other women stick by their husbands.
So, while mentally he may know that having an affair is not the right step, sub-consciously he has been taught that it is okay because the women will still stick around.
There are women who grew up seeing their mother's putting up with their father's behaviour while suffering silently.
So these women grow up with the resolve to not put with that kind of behaviour.
Men like women are simply acting out what they saw their own parents doing.
However, there is a different approach.
Simply learning from our parent's mistakes is not enough.
We are still prone to repeating their behaviours that we saw while growing up.
When we begin to grasp that few if any of us were taught how to be emotionally mature or how to develop our emotional selves we will begin to define a different life for ourselves.
Rather than criticize a man or woman who is having an affair it would help if we understood where the behaviour is coming from.
Some of us may not even realize that we are behaving just like our parents.
Instead of focusing solely on why men cheat or have affairs, let us begin to focus on how to develop our emotional self so that we do not engage in emotionally immature behaviours.
Whenever a man cheats, there is a woman present who is being cheated on.
It is easy to point fingers.
However, assigning blame is also an immature behaviour.
It is important for a woman to be mature and take responsibility for her own insecurities which led her to get involved with a man who is also insecure.
Sadly, many women take it personal when a man is unfaithful.
That may be because she has looked to him for her happiness.
She needs to understand that when her partner is unfaithful, it is about his issues and not about her.
When he lies about it, then it becomes about her, because now he is disrespecting her by lying to her.
Unfortunately, many relationships crumble because of this particular lack of understanding.
However, if a partner is honest and straightforward it is possible for the marriage to be recover.
This is where maturity and commitment to working on the marriage comes into play.
So while it is not possible to predict the future and we do not know what our response will be when it does occur, by being prepared for we at least have an advantage when we do find our relationship in the middle of an affair.
SHARE
