When you've been in a relationship for a long time, things change.
You settle into each other, getting more comfortable with each passing year.
But how can you tell if you're comfortable, or just comfortably numb? Is your comfort within the normal range for long term relationships, or are you ignoring warning signs that could signal the end is near? Here's a quick quiz to see how healthy your relationship is.
Are you cruising along, or sliding down a slippery slope? On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being never and 5 being always, rate these statements: I often pick apart the things my partner says I often pick apart the way my partner does things I feel like he doesn't understand me I feel like he doesn't try to understand me I often edit what I plan to say to him out of fear of his response I am usually not myself with him I am afraid my partner's having an affair I am having an affair I am thinking about having an affair I over-eat to numb my feelings I drink to numb my feelings I spend more time at work to avoid going home I exercise excessively to avoid being with my partner I don't enjoy making love with my partner I find ways to avoid making love I criticize my partner in public (including around family) There are things I want to change about my partner Results: 17-34: You're at the top of the slope and can easily prevent a fall 35-52: You've started to slip but can still reach the life line to catch yourself 53-67: You're picking up speed now, watch your focus 68-85: You're barreling down the slope, heading for disaster if you don't have the proper equipment No matter your results, you have the ability to turn things around.
The higher your score, the less inclined you may be to change the relationship.
You might be more tempted to jump off and try again.
The problem with starting over is that you'll be bringing your same self, with your same needs and insecurities, into a new relationship.
And chances are pretty high that you'll end up with the same results.
You settle into each other, getting more comfortable with each passing year.
But how can you tell if you're comfortable, or just comfortably numb? Is your comfort within the normal range for long term relationships, or are you ignoring warning signs that could signal the end is near? Here's a quick quiz to see how healthy your relationship is.
Are you cruising along, or sliding down a slippery slope? On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being never and 5 being always, rate these statements: I often pick apart the things my partner says I often pick apart the way my partner does things I feel like he doesn't understand me I feel like he doesn't try to understand me I often edit what I plan to say to him out of fear of his response I am usually not myself with him I am afraid my partner's having an affair I am having an affair I am thinking about having an affair I over-eat to numb my feelings I drink to numb my feelings I spend more time at work to avoid going home I exercise excessively to avoid being with my partner I don't enjoy making love with my partner I find ways to avoid making love I criticize my partner in public (including around family) There are things I want to change about my partner Results: 17-34: You're at the top of the slope and can easily prevent a fall 35-52: You've started to slip but can still reach the life line to catch yourself 53-67: You're picking up speed now, watch your focus 68-85: You're barreling down the slope, heading for disaster if you don't have the proper equipment No matter your results, you have the ability to turn things around.
The higher your score, the less inclined you may be to change the relationship.
You might be more tempted to jump off and try again.
The problem with starting over is that you'll be bringing your same self, with your same needs and insecurities, into a new relationship.
And chances are pretty high that you'll end up with the same results.
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