I've always had a sense of guilt for not have serving in the military.
It had nothing to do with not wanting to serve, or avoiding the draft by running to Canada, or hiding in college to stay out of Vietnam, I just wasn't drafted and never got around to enlisting.
So I really don't know why the continued sense of guilt as it was not of my doing, but it's there 30 years later.
Being a civilian, my understanding the core purpose of the Veteran's Administration was to help our military people receive medical help, which included mental and emotional trauma as well as physical wounds, and insure they received the benefits they were due.
A logical assumption, I thought, but not at all accurate.
To my horror and complete surprise I discovered the Veterans Administration is not a friend to returning military personnel, but rather more like the enemy.
I remember the news stories of the deplorable conditions of military hospitals, including Walter Reed the premier military hospital, dismembered and battle torn Soldiers from Iraq were coming home to for medical treatment.
I recall a politician remarking he wouldn't bring his dog to a military hospital for treatment.
Recently I have begun to personally witness the extent the Veterans Administration will go to avoid paying disability benefits to an entitled soldier.
I knew my brother-in-law, John, had served in the Army, First Calvary, in Vietnam, but that's all I knew because he never talked about it and since I'd never served there wasn't any common ground to strike up a conversation.
It wasn't until he was contacted by some old army buddies about a unit reunion that I became personally involved.
He had hesitations about attending because of the taking off of work and the cost of the trip.
I was lucky enough to offer financial help and he attended the reunion in Minnesota.
The ensuing events which resulted from attending the reunion are rather difficult to explain as it was a mixed bag of extremes.
While at the reunion John learned of disability benefits he was entitled to from the government and how to apply.
Many of his old unit had been collecting benefits due to their exposure to Agent Orange, the foliage killer the military sprayed in order to kill jungle foliage and eliminate the enemies' hiding places.
Measures are taken in war which reviewed later are seen as a possible mistake, and the dousing of this cancer causing agent on our soldiers is one such measure.
Just as in a wrongful death suit the money doesn't bring the person back, but it does help the survivors.
Benefits for the exposure fall into this category of compensation.
I was made aware, by my sister, that John had become a different person since applying for benefits.
The Veteran's Administration required John to attend mental evaluation sessions with a psychiatrist as part of the benefit evaluation procedure.
These sessions had intentionally brought the terrors of war, which had been long repressed, back to the surface.
John couldn't sleep all night anymore as he'd awake either screaming or in a cold sweat gasping for his breath.
His blood pressure had skyrocketed to dangerous levels which made him begin taking blood pressure medication, and acid reflux disease, turned eating into an unpleasant chore.
I have since learned John, who I have always antagonized just for fun, was a decorated war hero, with medals for bravery.
He was one of the GRUNTS, who went into the bush for weeks at a time, engaging the enemy in their tunnels and their back yard.
The Army's own records clearly verify where and when John was located, which proved he was clearly exposed to Agent Orange spraying on a continued basis.
Nearly a year after applying for benefit's the Veteran's Administration has not yet made a determination on his eligibility in spite of overwhelming proof, the Army's own proof, that he is qualified.
Perhaps worse than the stonewalling the Administration does against the solders is the intentional dredging up of horrific memories these men endured.
It's almost as if they are being punished for applying for something in which they are entitled.
It's a crying shame our military personnel after engaging in war for this country, has to return home to another war with the very people who were suppose to be charged with helping them.
It had nothing to do with not wanting to serve, or avoiding the draft by running to Canada, or hiding in college to stay out of Vietnam, I just wasn't drafted and never got around to enlisting.
So I really don't know why the continued sense of guilt as it was not of my doing, but it's there 30 years later.
Being a civilian, my understanding the core purpose of the Veteran's Administration was to help our military people receive medical help, which included mental and emotional trauma as well as physical wounds, and insure they received the benefits they were due.
A logical assumption, I thought, but not at all accurate.
To my horror and complete surprise I discovered the Veterans Administration is not a friend to returning military personnel, but rather more like the enemy.
I remember the news stories of the deplorable conditions of military hospitals, including Walter Reed the premier military hospital, dismembered and battle torn Soldiers from Iraq were coming home to for medical treatment.
I recall a politician remarking he wouldn't bring his dog to a military hospital for treatment.
Recently I have begun to personally witness the extent the Veterans Administration will go to avoid paying disability benefits to an entitled soldier.
I knew my brother-in-law, John, had served in the Army, First Calvary, in Vietnam, but that's all I knew because he never talked about it and since I'd never served there wasn't any common ground to strike up a conversation.
It wasn't until he was contacted by some old army buddies about a unit reunion that I became personally involved.
He had hesitations about attending because of the taking off of work and the cost of the trip.
I was lucky enough to offer financial help and he attended the reunion in Minnesota.
The ensuing events which resulted from attending the reunion are rather difficult to explain as it was a mixed bag of extremes.
While at the reunion John learned of disability benefits he was entitled to from the government and how to apply.
Many of his old unit had been collecting benefits due to their exposure to Agent Orange, the foliage killer the military sprayed in order to kill jungle foliage and eliminate the enemies' hiding places.
Measures are taken in war which reviewed later are seen as a possible mistake, and the dousing of this cancer causing agent on our soldiers is one such measure.
Just as in a wrongful death suit the money doesn't bring the person back, but it does help the survivors.
Benefits for the exposure fall into this category of compensation.
I was made aware, by my sister, that John had become a different person since applying for benefits.
The Veteran's Administration required John to attend mental evaluation sessions with a psychiatrist as part of the benefit evaluation procedure.
These sessions had intentionally brought the terrors of war, which had been long repressed, back to the surface.
John couldn't sleep all night anymore as he'd awake either screaming or in a cold sweat gasping for his breath.
His blood pressure had skyrocketed to dangerous levels which made him begin taking blood pressure medication, and acid reflux disease, turned eating into an unpleasant chore.
I have since learned John, who I have always antagonized just for fun, was a decorated war hero, with medals for bravery.
He was one of the GRUNTS, who went into the bush for weeks at a time, engaging the enemy in their tunnels and their back yard.
The Army's own records clearly verify where and when John was located, which proved he was clearly exposed to Agent Orange spraying on a continued basis.
Nearly a year after applying for benefit's the Veteran's Administration has not yet made a determination on his eligibility in spite of overwhelming proof, the Army's own proof, that he is qualified.
Perhaps worse than the stonewalling the Administration does against the solders is the intentional dredging up of horrific memories these men endured.
It's almost as if they are being punished for applying for something in which they are entitled.
It's a crying shame our military personnel after engaging in war for this country, has to return home to another war with the very people who were suppose to be charged with helping them.
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