I have often wondered if unconditional love really exists.
People say that parents love their children unconditionally, but I've seen a lot of exceptions to the rule.
Thankful it's not the case when it comes to my parents.
I've heard a lot of people say that they 'want someone to love them for who they are' or the infamous (if you ask me, it's cliché) 'I'm looking for my soul mate.
' I can't speak for everyone, so I am going to speak for myself.
I too have said these words.
I also wanted someone to complete me, someone to love all of my flaws, someone who would drink the fat for me as Ross would've done for Rachel on F.
R.
I.
E.
N.
D.
S .
I was lying to myself, and the person I was with, that I was ready for a commitment of that kind.
To be honest, I was selfish and very self-centered.
I was in no way ready to have anything that resembled a healthy relationship.
I would break up with people if I didn't get from them what I needed or they or their behavior towards me fell short on some level.
Struggles in life will teach you if you love someone unconditionally.
It also applies the other way around.
I threw in the towel almost every single time I felt out of my comfort zone.
Fighting for a healthy, loving relationship wasn't high on my priority list.
I couldn't love someone enough if they didn't meet my conditions, when they evolved into a different person than they were when we met...
everything was all about ME.
Not always, of course.
It's just been that way the last five years.
No excuse, that's why I'm working on it at the moment.
More than ever, when in a romantic relationship, I now know that "I LOVE YOU" means that you love that person flaws and all, when they do what you want AND when they don't do what you want.
That's how you learn to love someone unconditionally.
I've learned that I am flawed.
Doesn't need to be said, it's as easy as one plus one.
All human beings are flawed.
In order to love ourselves more, to forgive ourselves, we need that in return from the people we say we love.
We need forgiveness, we need compassion, we need acceptance.
To develop a strong relationship, you have to know all the ins and the outs of a person.
You also have to be comfortable letting a person in this way.
Someone will get to know you as well as you know yourself, and things might get ugly.
I know that relationships aren't easy and most people have built walls around their hearts, but when you are romantically involved with someone, you cant' just think about protecting your heart.
That is what we call being selfish.
So, what it comes down to, is this: you will never find someone to love you unconditionally if you don't love yourself unconditionally.
When you do love yourself enough and find that someone who sees you for the amazing person you are, open your heart to that person and give back what you receive.
People say that parents love their children unconditionally, but I've seen a lot of exceptions to the rule.
Thankful it's not the case when it comes to my parents.
I've heard a lot of people say that they 'want someone to love them for who they are' or the infamous (if you ask me, it's cliché) 'I'm looking for my soul mate.
' I can't speak for everyone, so I am going to speak for myself.
I too have said these words.
I also wanted someone to complete me, someone to love all of my flaws, someone who would drink the fat for me as Ross would've done for Rachel on F.
R.
I.
E.
N.
D.
S .
I was lying to myself, and the person I was with, that I was ready for a commitment of that kind.
To be honest, I was selfish and very self-centered.
I was in no way ready to have anything that resembled a healthy relationship.
I would break up with people if I didn't get from them what I needed or they or their behavior towards me fell short on some level.
Struggles in life will teach you if you love someone unconditionally.
It also applies the other way around.
I threw in the towel almost every single time I felt out of my comfort zone.
Fighting for a healthy, loving relationship wasn't high on my priority list.
I couldn't love someone enough if they didn't meet my conditions, when they evolved into a different person than they were when we met...
everything was all about ME.
Not always, of course.
It's just been that way the last five years.
No excuse, that's why I'm working on it at the moment.
More than ever, when in a romantic relationship, I now know that "I LOVE YOU" means that you love that person flaws and all, when they do what you want AND when they don't do what you want.
That's how you learn to love someone unconditionally.
I've learned that I am flawed.
Doesn't need to be said, it's as easy as one plus one.
All human beings are flawed.
In order to love ourselves more, to forgive ourselves, we need that in return from the people we say we love.
We need forgiveness, we need compassion, we need acceptance.
To develop a strong relationship, you have to know all the ins and the outs of a person.
You also have to be comfortable letting a person in this way.
Someone will get to know you as well as you know yourself, and things might get ugly.
I know that relationships aren't easy and most people have built walls around their hearts, but when you are romantically involved with someone, you cant' just think about protecting your heart.
That is what we call being selfish.
So, what it comes down to, is this: you will never find someone to love you unconditionally if you don't love yourself unconditionally.
When you do love yourself enough and find that someone who sees you for the amazing person you are, open your heart to that person and give back what you receive.
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