The Benefits and Pitfalls of an Open Relationship

An open relationship or "polyamory" is the state of being with one person, whether in the dating phase or while already married, but you are still allowed to explore the possibility of going out and be romantically involved with other people.

According to Dr. Joy Davidson, in a paper she delivered to the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality in 2002, there is a growing need to address the alternatives to monogamous relationships as "sweeping changes are occurring in the sexual and relational landscape."

"New models for intimacy are being sought by a growing number of individuals and couples who are hungry for workable alternatives to traditional relationship forms," she added.

To people who have issues committing to just one person, this is probably a dream come true. But to those who are unsure of what they are doing, this set up can turn out to be an emotional rollercoaster ride where the buckles are broken and you can come plummeting down any second.

Unorthodox as it may be, there are those who are still bent on exploring this new approach to their relationships. If you are one of those, it is wise to weigh first the benefits and the pitfalls of this kind of relationship:

The Benefits

1. People in an open relationship can still explore the possibility of them ending up with a different partner. They get to have the best of both worlds—enjoying the feeling of being with someone, yet remaining free to enjoy the company of someone else.

1. Nobody in an open relationship can accuse their partner of cheating. The main idea in an open relationship is that both parties should be on the same page: agreeing that they are together but can still pursue other people.

1. Jealousy is one main reason why commitments fail, and this is not present in an open relationship. Both parties get what they want from each other, be it companionship or sex, and they are allowed to be involved with other people for the same reasons. Based on the stories of those who were able to make their open relationships work, jealousy rarely (if at all) enters the scene primarily because both are into each other when they are together and separate from each other when they are not.

The Pitfalls

1. Health is the main pitfall of an open relationship. If both partners are open to having other sexual partners, STDs are easier to contract. Another issue is if the woman gets pregnant or the man impregnates another. Considering the number of partners involved, determining who the real parent of the child is will be challenging without DNA testing.

1. Most open relationships fail because one falls in love, while the other rejoices in the freedom he or she has. In the movie "500 Days of Summer," Tom fell in love with his open-relationship partner Summer, which eventually resulted in him getting hurt in the end. When one partner in an open relationship suddenly finds him/herself wanting exclusivity, it results in jealousy, possessiveness, and all other emotions involved in falling in love. This could put an end to the open relationship.

1. Lastly, someone in an open relationship will sooner or later form a more serious relationship with someone other than the partner involved. This effectively puts an end to the relationship.

 

Open relationships exist. Some couples are happy and content in that kind of setup, while some prefer to be monogamous. As with any kind of romantic relationship, however, it is important that both parties remain on the same page and agree on what they want out of the relationship. If one partner is uncomfortable with the idea of an open relationship and yet pursues it, a disaster will most likely follow.