As our population ages, millions of people are caring for an aging parent or loved one.
While this can be a rewarding undertaking, it is also often stressful.
These five truths will help caregivers feel less stressed and more successful: 1)Preparing early for the medical and social needs of parents will make the process easier.
Talking to parents about their wishes for medical care - and their finances is crucial.
It is never too early to start these discussions.
Some parents will be reluctant to speak about either topic, so broaching the topic slowly over months may make this easier.
Waiting until a crisis happens is never a good idea.
2)Choices for health care - particularly towards the end-of-life - are very personal.
No two people will make these decisions in exactly the same way.
Understanding what your parents want will ensure that they get the care they want - and will alleviate the confusion and guilt many caregivers face when making decisions without any directions.
(Everyone should have an advance directive - i.
e.
living will or health care proxy - that is recognized in the state where they live) 3)The medical system is not designed with the well being of the elderly in mind (even though they are the biggest consumers of health care!), so you will need to advocate for older loved ones whenever they need medical care.
Whether they are seeing a new doctor or hospitalized for an illness, many elderly patients will need help to be sure they get the proper care and medications.
Older patients are at greater risk for many complications in the hospital; confusion, bedsores, infections, falls etc.
Always ask questions if you do not understand something.
Medicare covers second opinions, so ask for one if the doctor's advice does not seem to be in the best interest of your loved one.
4)The best way to get good care to is to arm yourself with information about what benefits are available and how to access them.
Medicare is good insurance for those who qualify.
It will pay for physician visits, hospitalizations, rehab, home care and some medicines.
It does not provide any long-term care.
For those who qualify, Medicaid will cover the cost of long-term care - though how it provides this care (i.
e.
nursing home vs.
home care) will vary from state to state.
5)Adults are ultimately in charge of their own lives (unless they have been ruled incompetent by a court) and may make decisions that you don't like, or worse, are unwise or unsafe.
Learning to accept this may be difficult - but it will lessen the guilt produced by thinking you "should" be able to do more.
If you are not sure if your parent or loved one has the mental capacity to make their own decisions, ask their doctor to make an assessment.
Many primary care doctors will know how to do this.
However if they do not have this expertise, they will recommend you to a geriatrician, neurologist or psychiatrist who can complete this evaluation.
While this can be a rewarding undertaking, it is also often stressful.
These five truths will help caregivers feel less stressed and more successful: 1)Preparing early for the medical and social needs of parents will make the process easier.
Talking to parents about their wishes for medical care - and their finances is crucial.
It is never too early to start these discussions.
Some parents will be reluctant to speak about either topic, so broaching the topic slowly over months may make this easier.
Waiting until a crisis happens is never a good idea.
2)Choices for health care - particularly towards the end-of-life - are very personal.
No two people will make these decisions in exactly the same way.
Understanding what your parents want will ensure that they get the care they want - and will alleviate the confusion and guilt many caregivers face when making decisions without any directions.
(Everyone should have an advance directive - i.
e.
living will or health care proxy - that is recognized in the state where they live) 3)The medical system is not designed with the well being of the elderly in mind (even though they are the biggest consumers of health care!), so you will need to advocate for older loved ones whenever they need medical care.
Whether they are seeing a new doctor or hospitalized for an illness, many elderly patients will need help to be sure they get the proper care and medications.
Older patients are at greater risk for many complications in the hospital; confusion, bedsores, infections, falls etc.
Always ask questions if you do not understand something.
Medicare covers second opinions, so ask for one if the doctor's advice does not seem to be in the best interest of your loved one.
4)The best way to get good care to is to arm yourself with information about what benefits are available and how to access them.
Medicare is good insurance for those who qualify.
It will pay for physician visits, hospitalizations, rehab, home care and some medicines.
It does not provide any long-term care.
For those who qualify, Medicaid will cover the cost of long-term care - though how it provides this care (i.
e.
nursing home vs.
home care) will vary from state to state.
5)Adults are ultimately in charge of their own lives (unless they have been ruled incompetent by a court) and may make decisions that you don't like, or worse, are unwise or unsafe.
Learning to accept this may be difficult - but it will lessen the guilt produced by thinking you "should" be able to do more.
If you are not sure if your parent or loved one has the mental capacity to make their own decisions, ask their doctor to make an assessment.
Many primary care doctors will know how to do this.
However if they do not have this expertise, they will recommend you to a geriatrician, neurologist or psychiatrist who can complete this evaluation.
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