In every marriage we have to learn to unite and act as one. We need to know how to be a team and remain indivisible even under the most intense stress. Let's face it; life is not all sunshine and rainbows. But there are some situations where being a team means operating as individuals, separate of each other. No matter what situation has demanded the team members split up, it is important to keep the ability to come back together when life allows. If your husband is overseas, working long hours, or travels for work you can understand the stress and pain involved in working together from a distance. How do you maintain communication? How can you prevent the situation from coming between you and your spouse?
When we see our loved ones on a daily basis, we take for granted all the small forms of communication that are available to us. A small smile, quick shoulder rub, or just eye contact can all express deeply held emotions or needs. But when time together is less abundant you realize how much is left unsaid. Do you really want your interaction to be about the frustration you have for the neighbor whose dog barks constantly? Or would it make more sense to revel together in the accomplishments of your children? Maybe you need some support about an upsetting situation at work, but you should always make sure to praise your partner. Communications during these times should be as efficient as you can manage in such a personal situation. Email can be a great way to talk about the "running of the house" kind of issues. Save face to face interactions for the kisses and smiles. Most importantly: remember to listen! Communication is a two-way interaction. Notes, voicemails, and even text messages can play a vital role in maintaining contact when there is space between you and your partner.
The times when the team is tackling separate missions can be incredibly trying. It is easy to place the blame on your teammate when the emotions become hard to handle. Just remember that he wants the same things you do. The situation is equally difficult for both of you, and letting the pain that is natural turn into anger toward the one you love will be damaging for everyone involved. It is normal to feel insignificant or overwhelmed, even to periodically question your importance to the one you've devoted your life to. By keeping communication as open as the situation will allow, you prevent these normal human insecurities from becoming full-blown problems. It is possible to lean on each other even when you seem too busy to even see each other.
If you spend time becoming aware of what you're truly feeling you can then decipher which are issues that need addressing and which are just fleeting responses to stress and tension. It can be all too easy to become wrapped up in misunderstood emotional states, which can then exacerbate the situation while creating a vicious cycle of unwanted feelings. Just try to remember that your partner has the same bundle of emotions to deal with, and that you are angry with the situation (even if in the moment it feels like you're angry at him). Devoting your energy to each other's need ensures that everyone will be satisfied. Make sure your expectations are reasonable or you will develop anger that he doesn't deserve.
There are no step-by-step directions ensuring that times apart will always run smoothly. In fact, you should expect some bumps in the road. But by remaining committed to communication you allow the connection to remain intact. By understanding that insecurities are normal and should be accepted and released you can prevent them from gaining control of the situation. By taking the time to become in tune with your true emotions you prevent issues arising from confused feelings. By following these fairly simple steps you are that much closer to not only surviving these tough times, but coming out even stronger on the other side. These are the not-so-fun times from the "better or worse" you agreed to. It does get better again!
When we see our loved ones on a daily basis, we take for granted all the small forms of communication that are available to us. A small smile, quick shoulder rub, or just eye contact can all express deeply held emotions or needs. But when time together is less abundant you realize how much is left unsaid. Do you really want your interaction to be about the frustration you have for the neighbor whose dog barks constantly? Or would it make more sense to revel together in the accomplishments of your children? Maybe you need some support about an upsetting situation at work, but you should always make sure to praise your partner. Communications during these times should be as efficient as you can manage in such a personal situation. Email can be a great way to talk about the "running of the house" kind of issues. Save face to face interactions for the kisses and smiles. Most importantly: remember to listen! Communication is a two-way interaction. Notes, voicemails, and even text messages can play a vital role in maintaining contact when there is space between you and your partner.
The times when the team is tackling separate missions can be incredibly trying. It is easy to place the blame on your teammate when the emotions become hard to handle. Just remember that he wants the same things you do. The situation is equally difficult for both of you, and letting the pain that is natural turn into anger toward the one you love will be damaging for everyone involved. It is normal to feel insignificant or overwhelmed, even to periodically question your importance to the one you've devoted your life to. By keeping communication as open as the situation will allow, you prevent these normal human insecurities from becoming full-blown problems. It is possible to lean on each other even when you seem too busy to even see each other.
If you spend time becoming aware of what you're truly feeling you can then decipher which are issues that need addressing and which are just fleeting responses to stress and tension. It can be all too easy to become wrapped up in misunderstood emotional states, which can then exacerbate the situation while creating a vicious cycle of unwanted feelings. Just try to remember that your partner has the same bundle of emotions to deal with, and that you are angry with the situation (even if in the moment it feels like you're angry at him). Devoting your energy to each other's need ensures that everyone will be satisfied. Make sure your expectations are reasonable or you will develop anger that he doesn't deserve.
There are no step-by-step directions ensuring that times apart will always run smoothly. In fact, you should expect some bumps in the road. But by remaining committed to communication you allow the connection to remain intact. By understanding that insecurities are normal and should be accepted and released you can prevent them from gaining control of the situation. By taking the time to become in tune with your true emotions you prevent issues arising from confused feelings. By following these fairly simple steps you are that much closer to not only surviving these tough times, but coming out even stronger on the other side. These are the not-so-fun times from the "better or worse" you agreed to. It does get better again!
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