Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Marriage Counseling - Why A Multitude of Folks Give Up on Love

I'm unsure if the numbers are on the rise, but I can say with assurance that they are most certainly not on the decline.
The numbers I'm making reference to are: those folks who have given up attempting to make a marriage relationship operate in a healthy manner.
It might be argued that there is a crisis running widespread through our terrain, a crisis of numbness and disinterest.
Such a substantial number of people have stopped trying, as it relates to their dating and marriage relationships.
People today are tired of exerting the effort and have lost much of their belief that having a good, strong union is even attainable.
This is a very depressing scenario, yet does it need to be this way? Can there be no hope for individuals who desire a caring relationship, a cozy and affectionate union? I feel that there is a good reason for hope, and I can confirm to seeing many individuals adjust their circumstances and experience much higher degrees of happiness in their dating and marriage relationships.
The main challenge that is out there is not connected to what I feel about another person's circumstance, it's what they are conditioned to feel about love, romance and marital relationships.
Such a large amount of folks have little or no reference for what a good marriage looks and feels like.
Their memories are taken over by images of pain and breakdown, and these have a highly bad impact on how much vigor they're willing to put into any intimate love relationship.
Far too many individuals have already been hurt continuously and have decided to close off large sections of themselves for concern of being hurt again.
This option to put up barriers of defense may seem sensible for a period of time, but has devastating effects over a long stretch of time.
When these barriers are put up by a person, they can deliver some much needed insulation from possible challenges.
The hard part is: these barriers that were erected for security, also serve as barriers to intimacy.
It's extremely hard to love someone when they are behind a defensive barrier, and it's every bit as difficult to attain love and closeness when we have covered ourselves within a self imposed fort.
The walls that we build for defense can often prove to be the primary cause of our long term solitude and unhappiness.
What good relationship counseling teaches, and lots of people are unwilling to admit, is the fact that they are the prime cause of their own suffering.
They may reference very painful things that they state are the cause of their disappointment, but in reality, their unwillingness to let others close to them is creating much more suffering than they originally sustained.
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