Did you think that one man must be responsible for ensuring that your life is filled with rose petals and sunshine? Surely you joust! Having said that however, we females are brought up to search out that special protector and soul mate.
I think we feel a keen need for a romantic knight to sweep us off our feet and cherish us all the days of our lives.
If we are lucky enough to find such a man, he should be a prized jewel.
I don't mean that either the male or female in a couple should be pampered out of reasonable proportion to the other but both bring great qualities to the relationship, if we have chosen a partner well.
Gratitude, affection, loyalty and self sacrifice for the good of the other and children in the relationship should always be priorities.
Society has often stressed the 'me', rather than the 'us' aspect of our relationships and as we see so many marriages fail, would it not be fair to ask ourselves just how well society's advice as worked for us? Clearly, we are doing something wrong in our relationships or there would not be so many broken homes and children left to wonder why mom and dad don't love each other anymore.
If you were a young female in the seventies, perhaps you were lead to believe that you could 'have it all'.
Personal space, career, marriage and family were all touted as being possible at the same time.
It was our right to have all these things, even if it meant putting our newborns into day care where someone else saw their almost daily changes and accomplishments and we worked tirelessly to climb the ladder and break the glass ceiling.
I think all women's movements over the past centuries have brought many wonderful and much needed freedoms for women.
To think that men once debated whether women even had souls or whether they were intelligent enough to vote seem ludicrous now.
However, many men have lost that certain pride they felt in providing for a wife and family and although women have the freedom and satisfaction from earning their own money and not having to ask for hand outs from their husband or partner, they still seem to come out on the short and tired end of the stick if they have to work and then come home to cook, clean and take sole care of the children.
This is where the compromise and self sacrifice come in from both partners and we need a realization that men and women are indeed different.
We think, feel and act differently and our needs and wants differ also.
A man will often just want to eat and crash after a hard day at work but his wife is looking forward to a warm hug and the never tired of question "how was your day, honey?" Women want to feel that they are really being heard by the man in their life and if he has one eye on the football game, she feels disrespected and devalued.
If a man is bombarded with problems and criticism the moment he walks in the door, he will naturally shrink from this and perhaps not come home until after he has had some 'me time'.
This can lead to problems and antagonism in the relationship.
As the woman wonders where her knight in shining armor went, the knight is wondering just how many dragons he has to slay before he can sit down and relax.
If couples get into a daily habit of setting aside thirty minutes to have a mini family meeting where calendar dates are gone over and needs and wants are discussed, so much bad feeling can be avoided.
We all have hectic schedules these days but we often choose them.
Making a list of commitments and assigning a number as to their importance, will show us what can be done away with without too much bad feeling.
Perhaps the only time a wife gets woman to woman interaction is an exercise or dance class.
If the husband enjoys playing a sport once or twice a week and it doesn't put an imbalance in the time he shares with the rest of the family, then go for it.
What it is wise to guard against is over-scheduling.
Most people do not need to do half the things they think they just can not do without.
Many things can still be done in a week just less time spent doing it.
An hour at the gym instead of two.
Watching less TV and playing a family board game instead.
Giving each other a massage or foot rub instead of spending the same amount of time away from home, etc.
"Me time' is important to both sexes but it is amazing what a little compromise and sincere discussion can do to revitalize any relationship and it shines up that armor so well that NASA could reflect other planets off of it.
Relationships take regular nurturing and nourishing and if time is set aside for this every day, there is no reason why the knight and his fair maiden need ever part.
June Steed
I think we feel a keen need for a romantic knight to sweep us off our feet and cherish us all the days of our lives.
If we are lucky enough to find such a man, he should be a prized jewel.
I don't mean that either the male or female in a couple should be pampered out of reasonable proportion to the other but both bring great qualities to the relationship, if we have chosen a partner well.
Gratitude, affection, loyalty and self sacrifice for the good of the other and children in the relationship should always be priorities.
Society has often stressed the 'me', rather than the 'us' aspect of our relationships and as we see so many marriages fail, would it not be fair to ask ourselves just how well society's advice as worked for us? Clearly, we are doing something wrong in our relationships or there would not be so many broken homes and children left to wonder why mom and dad don't love each other anymore.
If you were a young female in the seventies, perhaps you were lead to believe that you could 'have it all'.
Personal space, career, marriage and family were all touted as being possible at the same time.
It was our right to have all these things, even if it meant putting our newborns into day care where someone else saw their almost daily changes and accomplishments and we worked tirelessly to climb the ladder and break the glass ceiling.
I think all women's movements over the past centuries have brought many wonderful and much needed freedoms for women.
To think that men once debated whether women even had souls or whether they were intelligent enough to vote seem ludicrous now.
However, many men have lost that certain pride they felt in providing for a wife and family and although women have the freedom and satisfaction from earning their own money and not having to ask for hand outs from their husband or partner, they still seem to come out on the short and tired end of the stick if they have to work and then come home to cook, clean and take sole care of the children.
This is where the compromise and self sacrifice come in from both partners and we need a realization that men and women are indeed different.
We think, feel and act differently and our needs and wants differ also.
A man will often just want to eat and crash after a hard day at work but his wife is looking forward to a warm hug and the never tired of question "how was your day, honey?" Women want to feel that they are really being heard by the man in their life and if he has one eye on the football game, she feels disrespected and devalued.
If a man is bombarded with problems and criticism the moment he walks in the door, he will naturally shrink from this and perhaps not come home until after he has had some 'me time'.
This can lead to problems and antagonism in the relationship.
As the woman wonders where her knight in shining armor went, the knight is wondering just how many dragons he has to slay before he can sit down and relax.
If couples get into a daily habit of setting aside thirty minutes to have a mini family meeting where calendar dates are gone over and needs and wants are discussed, so much bad feeling can be avoided.
We all have hectic schedules these days but we often choose them.
Making a list of commitments and assigning a number as to their importance, will show us what can be done away with without too much bad feeling.
Perhaps the only time a wife gets woman to woman interaction is an exercise or dance class.
If the husband enjoys playing a sport once or twice a week and it doesn't put an imbalance in the time he shares with the rest of the family, then go for it.
What it is wise to guard against is over-scheduling.
Most people do not need to do half the things they think they just can not do without.
Many things can still be done in a week just less time spent doing it.
An hour at the gym instead of two.
Watching less TV and playing a family board game instead.
Giving each other a massage or foot rub instead of spending the same amount of time away from home, etc.
"Me time' is important to both sexes but it is amazing what a little compromise and sincere discussion can do to revitalize any relationship and it shines up that armor so well that NASA could reflect other planets off of it.
Relationships take regular nurturing and nourishing and if time is set aside for this every day, there is no reason why the knight and his fair maiden need ever part.
June Steed
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