I was inspired to write this article by comments I had received from one of the readers of one of my books which is aimed at helping people recognise, value, develop and use their talents.
This is what Michael said: "The "aha" moment for me was on the page on goal setting, especially the distinction between push and pull.
I feel pulled.
I feel directed by an inner compass.
(No I don't listen to voices telling me to become a comedian, or fly off a cliff- though maybe I should).
My life has been too complex to state SMART goals (though I urge my clients to do so, in the absence of vocation).
I believe in my neurons that I am called to do what I do, that this is the highest fulfilment and purpose of my life: to work in organizations and around them to be of service to my own being and to others in that way, and my goal is to be so in the moment that I will know what to do in that moment that is best for me and best for the people I come into contact with.
And the newer vision evolved over the experiences of the last few years is to see a balance between my older self and the future the balance between what sometimes can seem overwhelming focus on work rather than on being and really enjoying the last twenty or thirty years ( perhaps more) of life on this planet.
Michael's comments reminded me of a conversation with John Campbell, the president of a global alliance of learning and development businesses.
I was asking John what goals he had for the future.
Now, bearing in mind that John is a hugely successful man at both personal and corporate levels, I was rather surprised by his answer which was, "I don't have any goals".
"Come on John, you've achieved so much, especially in the last few years.
You must have had goals.
" I challenged.
John explained that he wasn't motivated by goals or the language of goal-setting, even though he has been a master-coach for over twenty years and I'm sure he must use this language with his clients.
The killer question from me was when I asked him what does direct his life's work.
He reflected briefly and suggested that instead of pushing ahead to goals, he felt pulled towards things, including people, work and situations.
I immediately latched on the John's language and his mention of push and pull.
Now I happen to know that John has a very good sense of who he is.
There have been times when I've requested his involvement in certain areas of work and his response has been a very kind yet firm turn-down.
He is very clear about what he does do and what he will pass on to others.
For example, unless there's a very good reason, John does not do training (which I happen to know he's very good at) but he does consult and he does coach (all over the world).
Yet there's another side to John we need to know about.
He isn't unhelpful, in fact quite the opposite.
When I was in the process of a second set of edits of my book, I asked John if he'd mind reading it and giving me his feedback.
To my amazement, not only did John agree to help (which I guessed he might) but he turned it round with detailed feedback in about a week.
This would not have been part of any goal John had.
I guess he just felt drawn (or pulled) into an activity in which he felt he could add great value (which he did).
I started to discuss push and pull with other coaches, including the lovely Jeni Purdie, the author of one of the world's leading life coaching texts, Christophe Horvath who is leading a talent liberation movement in Southern Africa and Benita Treanor in the UK who is simply the best coaching supervisor I have ever worked with (to name just three).
All the coaches I spoke with completely resonated with the push versus pull dichotomy.
I began to realise that different people think in different ways about goals and goal-setting and for coaches and managers it is vital to understand each person's context and mind-set.
Some people are incredibly motivated by goals.
Some find goal-setting an unnecessary and even alienating concept.
Some are comfortable to speak either language and translate it into their paradigm.
For myself, I have used the language of goal-setting as a coach for many years and I even have lifetime goals for myself.
But on reflection, I think my goals are actually things I feel called to do, rather than things I'm aiming for or must do.
For example, I have a goal to visit every African country before I die.
I actually don't believe it will happen and it really doesn't matter to me whether I do or I don't.
But it does allow me to celebrate as I get to visit another one with my work as I did earlier this year when I was asked to take part in a speaking tour of four countries in Southern Africa, two of which (Botswana and Zambia) I have never been to before.
But in truth, I feel more called to Africa than I feel driven.
I am at peace with this feeling and have no anxiety whatsoever.
And maybe that's a symptom of the difference between a calling and a goal.
In my experience people who have a true calling and who have a good sense of who they are also have an accessible character and an aura of wholeness.
That's not to say the same doesn't apply to people with goals but I wonder how many people who say they have goals really have a calling that is expressed as a goal?
This is what Michael said: "The "aha" moment for me was on the page on goal setting, especially the distinction between push and pull.
I feel pulled.
I feel directed by an inner compass.
(No I don't listen to voices telling me to become a comedian, or fly off a cliff- though maybe I should).
My life has been too complex to state SMART goals (though I urge my clients to do so, in the absence of vocation).
I believe in my neurons that I am called to do what I do, that this is the highest fulfilment and purpose of my life: to work in organizations and around them to be of service to my own being and to others in that way, and my goal is to be so in the moment that I will know what to do in that moment that is best for me and best for the people I come into contact with.
And the newer vision evolved over the experiences of the last few years is to see a balance between my older self and the future the balance between what sometimes can seem overwhelming focus on work rather than on being and really enjoying the last twenty or thirty years ( perhaps more) of life on this planet.
Michael's comments reminded me of a conversation with John Campbell, the president of a global alliance of learning and development businesses.
I was asking John what goals he had for the future.
Now, bearing in mind that John is a hugely successful man at both personal and corporate levels, I was rather surprised by his answer which was, "I don't have any goals".
"Come on John, you've achieved so much, especially in the last few years.
You must have had goals.
" I challenged.
John explained that he wasn't motivated by goals or the language of goal-setting, even though he has been a master-coach for over twenty years and I'm sure he must use this language with his clients.
The killer question from me was when I asked him what does direct his life's work.
He reflected briefly and suggested that instead of pushing ahead to goals, he felt pulled towards things, including people, work and situations.
I immediately latched on the John's language and his mention of push and pull.
Now I happen to know that John has a very good sense of who he is.
There have been times when I've requested his involvement in certain areas of work and his response has been a very kind yet firm turn-down.
He is very clear about what he does do and what he will pass on to others.
For example, unless there's a very good reason, John does not do training (which I happen to know he's very good at) but he does consult and he does coach (all over the world).
Yet there's another side to John we need to know about.
He isn't unhelpful, in fact quite the opposite.
When I was in the process of a second set of edits of my book, I asked John if he'd mind reading it and giving me his feedback.
To my amazement, not only did John agree to help (which I guessed he might) but he turned it round with detailed feedback in about a week.
This would not have been part of any goal John had.
I guess he just felt drawn (or pulled) into an activity in which he felt he could add great value (which he did).
I started to discuss push and pull with other coaches, including the lovely Jeni Purdie, the author of one of the world's leading life coaching texts, Christophe Horvath who is leading a talent liberation movement in Southern Africa and Benita Treanor in the UK who is simply the best coaching supervisor I have ever worked with (to name just three).
All the coaches I spoke with completely resonated with the push versus pull dichotomy.
I began to realise that different people think in different ways about goals and goal-setting and for coaches and managers it is vital to understand each person's context and mind-set.
Some people are incredibly motivated by goals.
Some find goal-setting an unnecessary and even alienating concept.
Some are comfortable to speak either language and translate it into their paradigm.
For myself, I have used the language of goal-setting as a coach for many years and I even have lifetime goals for myself.
But on reflection, I think my goals are actually things I feel called to do, rather than things I'm aiming for or must do.
For example, I have a goal to visit every African country before I die.
I actually don't believe it will happen and it really doesn't matter to me whether I do or I don't.
But it does allow me to celebrate as I get to visit another one with my work as I did earlier this year when I was asked to take part in a speaking tour of four countries in Southern Africa, two of which (Botswana and Zambia) I have never been to before.
But in truth, I feel more called to Africa than I feel driven.
I am at peace with this feeling and have no anxiety whatsoever.
And maybe that's a symptom of the difference between a calling and a goal.
In my experience people who have a true calling and who have a good sense of who they are also have an accessible character and an aura of wholeness.
That's not to say the same doesn't apply to people with goals but I wonder how many people who say they have goals really have a calling that is expressed as a goal?
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