Ever wonder why there's no "What to Expect When You're Adopting" book? When you started out on your adoption journey, you probably expected to fill out paperwork to get through the process.
You might have been surprised by the mountains of paperwork required, though.
You probably expected to answer some questions and fill out some forms.
But you might not have expected to sit with a complete stranger and answer intimate questions about your marriage.
The home study is something many couples worry and stress over for weeks.
In preparation, most people super-clean their houses and baby-proof like nobody's business.
Those are fine tasks to take on, but they're not entirely necessary in the preparation process.
There are some things you should do, though.
Prior to the visit from the social worker, you and your spouse should discuss your motivations for adopting, your plans for financially supporting your future child and your parenting philosophy.
Be prepared to discuss your own upbringing and how it will affect your parenting style.
When the social worker shows up, he or she will cover all the basics: how you met and fell in love, your families of origin and best memories of your childhoods, your careers/finances and the distance to the nearest hospital.
You'll probably discuss your plans for childcare, some family traditions you wish to instill, and your expectations for integrating your new child into your family.
Think these things through prior to the visit, but don't rehearse your answers so that they sound contrite.
After covering these initial topics, the social worker will then ask one of you to leave the room so he or she can talk with the other privately.
Don't freak out! This time is spent discussing how wonderful you are.
Truly.
When it's your turn, you will have the opportunity to brag on your husband or wife and talk about all of his or her wonderful qualities.
There should be absolutely nothing intimidating about the conversation.
When all of the questions were answered, you will give the social worker a tour of your home.
Don't worry, though: He or she won't get on the floor and crawl around looking for loose electrical cords.
In all likelihood, he or she won't even look at the electrical outlets to see that you have covered all of them with safety devices.
Not once will he or she try to open a cabinet door that might contain cleaning supplies.
If you are like most and you are worrying over these things, you are working yourself up over nothing.
The home study is one of the necessary steps required to reach your final objective: bringing a child into your home.
Let your true personality shine through when you talk about your motivations for parenting.
The only thing you need to worry about is being honest and open.
You might have been surprised by the mountains of paperwork required, though.
You probably expected to answer some questions and fill out some forms.
But you might not have expected to sit with a complete stranger and answer intimate questions about your marriage.
The home study is something many couples worry and stress over for weeks.
In preparation, most people super-clean their houses and baby-proof like nobody's business.
Those are fine tasks to take on, but they're not entirely necessary in the preparation process.
There are some things you should do, though.
Prior to the visit from the social worker, you and your spouse should discuss your motivations for adopting, your plans for financially supporting your future child and your parenting philosophy.
Be prepared to discuss your own upbringing and how it will affect your parenting style.
When the social worker shows up, he or she will cover all the basics: how you met and fell in love, your families of origin and best memories of your childhoods, your careers/finances and the distance to the nearest hospital.
You'll probably discuss your plans for childcare, some family traditions you wish to instill, and your expectations for integrating your new child into your family.
Think these things through prior to the visit, but don't rehearse your answers so that they sound contrite.
After covering these initial topics, the social worker will then ask one of you to leave the room so he or she can talk with the other privately.
Don't freak out! This time is spent discussing how wonderful you are.
Truly.
When it's your turn, you will have the opportunity to brag on your husband or wife and talk about all of his or her wonderful qualities.
There should be absolutely nothing intimidating about the conversation.
When all of the questions were answered, you will give the social worker a tour of your home.
Don't worry, though: He or she won't get on the floor and crawl around looking for loose electrical cords.
In all likelihood, he or she won't even look at the electrical outlets to see that you have covered all of them with safety devices.
Not once will he or she try to open a cabinet door that might contain cleaning supplies.
If you are like most and you are worrying over these things, you are working yourself up over nothing.
The home study is one of the necessary steps required to reach your final objective: bringing a child into your home.
Let your true personality shine through when you talk about your motivations for parenting.
The only thing you need to worry about is being honest and open.
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