Health & Medical Parenting

A Child Like Mine - How to Discipline Difficult Children

Handling outbursts and severe expressions of anger is not easy for any parent.
It is important to learn how to discipline difficult children as early as possible.
No amount of delay will be at all helpful or make it any easier.
The longer you wait, the longer and more deeply ingrained the bad behavior will be.
This will obviously make it more of a challenge to remove and prevent the misbehavior.
Most experts agree that expressions of anger are just a front used to cover up other, more sensitive feelings that the child is less comfortable with.
These deeper feelings of pain, fear, anxiety and feeling vulnerable are usually directly connected with aggressive behavior.
Especially with behaviors that exhibit strong expressions of anger.
Difficult children can test our limits with astounding creativity, persistence and intensity.
So, it is important that we consider our own angry responses to this bad behavior as well.
This makes learning how to discipline difficult children vital to the creating a strong connection and one of authority.
When a child acts out severely by screaming, kicking, or punching we naturally tend to feel overwhelmed and get angry ourselves.
We may even strike back with severe threats and aggressive behavior of our own in the ways of scolding, lecturing, harsh judging, and criticizing.
These are typical responses when confronted with extreme and difficult behavior, however these typical responses are also typical in getting no result.
The thing is they have never really worked well.
Think about all the times when you were young and acting out.
The inclination for adults to start yelling, screaming, scolding and punishing really made little difference.
If a child is intent on acting out they are also usually intent or at least okay with the consequences before hand.
Though these methods are our natural reactions, the fact that they do not produce any of the results we need means we should stop doing them.
Easier said than done.
This can sometimes take a lot of work on your own behavior.
It is precisely due to those reactions being so natural, that makes them such a challenge in stopping them.
It is a natural reflex action that can be very hard to break but when you do you will be glad you did.
If you intend on changing angry behavior of your difficult child, then you will need to get your own angry responses under control.
You cannot expect them to learn how to handle expressions of anger by letting yourself get angry.
A fair warning, this approach is not easy but it is definitely effective.
When a child is experiencing expressions of anger, if its safe, just give them room to stomp it out.
They will not listen to reason when they are at the height of an angry moment anyway.
If the anger is stronger or becomes violent to his/herself or others, then they need to be held strong, gently, but firmly.
This is not easy, as said but you must be consistent with this in order to get the most desired result from the method.
Be strong and do not let any of the mean remarks get to you.
Just embrace the child and make them feel safe.
The trick in learning how to discipline difficult children is positive response habits.
The hardest part of this is to be consistent and learning to control our own natural angry responses.
There is a lot more to it really.
This is just brushing the surface as there are more intensive treatments for handling the deeper fears and anxiety that are usually the root causes of angry outbursts.
Learning how to discipline difficult children is tough on any parent and the right thing to do is not always very clear or all that obvious.
It can make things much easier getting help from others who have been through similar experiences.
This can save you a mountain of wasted time and effort, not to mention the loss in moments where you could be making a positive connection and building a healthy influential relationship with your child when they need you the most.
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