- 1). Discuss with your spouse how to divide the retirement benefits. Consider mediation if your spouse is too hostile to discuss the matter civilly. Under the present-day valuation buy-out, the spouse with the retirement benefits keeps the benefits but gives up property and assets that equal the spouse's share of the retirement benefits. Otherwise, the retirement account should be divided between two accounts.
- 2). Attend the court hearing set to resolve property division issues. Submit an agreed division plan to the judge for approval or argue to the judge how you want the retirement benefits to be divided. The judge will make a decision based on equitable distribution factors. Review these factors to formulate arguments (see the link in the resource section).
- 3). Ask the judge to issue a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) if the account is to be divided into two accounts. The order must list the name and address of the spouse who is to receive a share of the payouts. It must also state the percentage or dollar amount of the benefits to be given to that spouse. It must state the number of payments or the amount of time that the order will be in effect.
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