Many couples think they have good communication skills.
And they might have, in the beginning.
But after time, it is easy to stop listening to each other and only focus on what we have to say to our spouse and not hear what they are saying back to us.
If you find this to be the case in your marriage, then here are some top communication skills recommended by marriage counselors.
Practice Active Listening Active listening is an excellent method for clear communication between couples and often marriage counselors will start with teaching active listening skills.
With active listening, you stop and listen to your partner without thinking ahead about how to respond to what is being said.
You really listen and hear them and you verify that you are understanding by asking questions that clarify your understanding of what they are trying to communicate to you.
Active listening does not happen automatically and it takes practice.
Most marriage counselors recommend that you try active listening exercises with both partners participating until you both clearly understand what the other is saying.
Start with something mundane like what you are having for dinner and then work your way up to more difficult conversations.
Keep in mind that when emotions get involved, it is easy to fall back into bad communication habits and not listen to each other at all.
Set Aside Time to Talk Some couples find that having a specific time every week, or every day, to talk about their concerns and feelings is a good way to keep the lines of communication clear.
The marital relationship can be a complicated one and regularly checking in with each other can prevent problems from accumulating and becoming large problems that overflow and become huge obstacles.
Try setting aside a check in time on a regular basis.
Often, couples report that the end of the day is a good time.
Others decide that having a regular date night where they talk also works.
Whatever time works for you, keep it as a regular habit and talk about your day or your week.
Use this time to not only talk about superficial stuff, but what really concerns you or brings up emotions for you.
Take Time to Connect Frequently, marriage counselors report that couples get into the bad habit of only focusing their attention on outside things and not on the marriage relationship or actually connecting with each other.
Connecting does not mean talking about who is taking out the trash next or deciding who gets to take junior to his soccer game.
Connecting means taking the time to not only talk deeply with each other, but also being affectionate and expressing deep feelings for each other.
It means taking the risk of being vulnerable in a way you are not vulnerable with anyone else.
This is what makes marriage special and rewarding.
Both spouses need to allow their true self to be seen and witnessed by the other in order for true and deep intimacy to occur in the marriage relationship.
If you are finding that you are not connecting with your husband or wife these days, try out these methods for improving your marriage and see if they make a difference.
If you are willing to extend yourself and try, you might be pleasantly surprised by the results.
And they might have, in the beginning.
But after time, it is easy to stop listening to each other and only focus on what we have to say to our spouse and not hear what they are saying back to us.
If you find this to be the case in your marriage, then here are some top communication skills recommended by marriage counselors.
Practice Active Listening Active listening is an excellent method for clear communication between couples and often marriage counselors will start with teaching active listening skills.
With active listening, you stop and listen to your partner without thinking ahead about how to respond to what is being said.
You really listen and hear them and you verify that you are understanding by asking questions that clarify your understanding of what they are trying to communicate to you.
Active listening does not happen automatically and it takes practice.
Most marriage counselors recommend that you try active listening exercises with both partners participating until you both clearly understand what the other is saying.
Start with something mundane like what you are having for dinner and then work your way up to more difficult conversations.
Keep in mind that when emotions get involved, it is easy to fall back into bad communication habits and not listen to each other at all.
Set Aside Time to Talk Some couples find that having a specific time every week, or every day, to talk about their concerns and feelings is a good way to keep the lines of communication clear.
The marital relationship can be a complicated one and regularly checking in with each other can prevent problems from accumulating and becoming large problems that overflow and become huge obstacles.
Try setting aside a check in time on a regular basis.
Often, couples report that the end of the day is a good time.
Others decide that having a regular date night where they talk also works.
Whatever time works for you, keep it as a regular habit and talk about your day or your week.
Use this time to not only talk about superficial stuff, but what really concerns you or brings up emotions for you.
Take Time to Connect Frequently, marriage counselors report that couples get into the bad habit of only focusing their attention on outside things and not on the marriage relationship or actually connecting with each other.
Connecting does not mean talking about who is taking out the trash next or deciding who gets to take junior to his soccer game.
Connecting means taking the time to not only talk deeply with each other, but also being affectionate and expressing deep feelings for each other.
It means taking the risk of being vulnerable in a way you are not vulnerable with anyone else.
This is what makes marriage special and rewarding.
Both spouses need to allow their true self to be seen and witnessed by the other in order for true and deep intimacy to occur in the marriage relationship.
If you are finding that you are not connecting with your husband or wife these days, try out these methods for improving your marriage and see if they make a difference.
If you are willing to extend yourself and try, you might be pleasantly surprised by the results.
SHARE
