When you see all the marriages that are in trouble, it's depressing, especially when they end up in a divorce, so you might be asking, "can I save my marriage?" When you feel like your marriage is pushing its limits, divorce is not the answer. There are other solutions and they do take commitment from both of you to try and save your relationship.

The first step is counseling - get help from a mediator to deal with your problems. Besides seeking professional help there are other steps you can take to save your marriage. It's really not all that complicated, the most important thing is that both partners are working toward the same goal. When you are thinking "save my marriage" - look and learn from these four ideas that you can use to keep you out of the divorce courts.

1. Realize that there is no such thing as a "perfect marraige". When two people get married and live together there are bound to be problems, even a few that become deal breakers. This is only to be expected when two people have to learn to get along with each other every day. Each person has their own likes and dislikes and their own personalities - including twins. Instead of looking for everything to be perfect, you need to work together with your partner to overcome problems. Realize that there will be rough patches and you can get through them if you work through them - you really won't have to say "save my marriage".
2. Communicating with your partner is vital. Without keeping the lines of communication open you leave your self open to multiple problems in your marriage. The most important thing is to be honest with your spouse. You can work through and solve your problems together if you keep working on communication.
3. Next, is to learn to accept compromise. You need to learn to be flexible with each other. There are times when your partner will need to give and times when you need to give. Since both of you have your own interests and desires sometimes it's necessary to find a middle ground you both can live with. If you get good at compromising, you won't have to ask to "save my marriage".
4. Commitment is the fourth tip. I know when I got married I made a promise to myself to honor the "for better and for worse" in my marriage vows. My husband and I have had our share of problems and disagreements in our marriage of 33 years. I told myself that we could get through this and I was not going to give up. Just like when your car breaks down on the side of the road. You don't get rid of the car unless there is no hope. Your marriage involves the same type of commitment to making it work.

There are times when the damage down to a marriage is so devasting that nothing can be done to fix it. When counseling can't help and the problems can't be solved then divorce may be the only solution. But when this is not the case, divorce is not the answer. Instead, make the commitment to working on your problems together and do what it takes to solve them. Hopefully you will be one of the ones who can say I can "save my marriage"!

I recently read a great book that offers real hope for those who want to save their marriage. I wrote a detailed review here at "save my marriage" and you owe it to yourself to read it if you are serious about staying with your spouse.