Are you reaping the benefits of the 'Fruit of the Spirit'? God's fruit encompasses - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
If we live by these fruits in our marriage, we will reap a bountiful harvest of God's blessing upon our marriage, and grow together as a couple.
Here a few definitions of the nine fruits that makes up the Fruit of the Spirit.
Love - We often fall into the trap of thinking that loving someone enough will sustain a marriage, but love has many disguises, i.
e.
we can love our spouse by the fruits of the spirit, or by the flesh.
Loving our spouse in the flesh means that we have certain expectations, for instance you expect something in return, and the love is self-seeking love, to fulfill your desires and your needs.
Loving in the fruits of the spirit is a Godly way to express love.
It's an agape love.
Agape love means loving the other person unconditionally, loving the unlovable and undeserving, and blessing them in abundance r no matter how resentful you feel.
Make God your first love, Ephesians 6:21.
Joy - True joy represents itself through the grace of God.
The wonderful thing about experiencing joy by God's grace is that we can find it, and feel it in whatever difficult experiences we may be going through.
Whereas when we seek to have joy in the flesh, we are looking for human-based joy, and this type of joy is based on high expectations and personal fulfillment.
Human joy is fleeting, doesn't last.
Godly joy is divine and everlasting.
Peace- isn't just about getting away from all the hustle and bustle of daily life, i.
e.
such as a nagging spouse, or noisy neighbors.
It's about being at a state of peace with God.
When you are in a state of peace with God, you are equipped with inner calmness and tranquility, so whatever is going on around you is lessened.
Godly peace dampens down chaos, and helps you to deal with irritating and annoying situations in a calmly manner.
Whereas - when we seek peace in the flesh - we are more likely to scream and shout at a nagging spouse and slam the door shut in their face to get the peace we want.
Hence, we don't resolve any conflict in our marriage.
Patience - Godly patience is long-suffering and enduring.
It means that we won't just cave in and give up when cracks in our marriage appear.
Without Godly patience, we won't take time to listen, wait for time to heal, and for God's direction in our marital conflict.
So we act on our fleshly gut instincts, and flee the relationship in haste, instead of waiting for God's guidance, and inevitably miss the chance to receive his counsel.
Kindness - There are 2 definitions of kindness.
1.
Human kindness, where we tend to expect kindness in return, and 2.
Godly kindness, where we are not being kind to get something in return, but it's God's nature within us that is kind.
When we express Godly kindness to our spouse, i.
e.
we buy our husband a gift that will be useful to him while he is working away on business, and then get upset because he hasn't returned the kind gesture.
Being kind in a Godly manner is a means of 'blessing' someone, and not expecting something back.
Goodness - Godly goodness comes from God, not man.
One will only find true goodness by being 'fully content with God'.
Goodness without God can't be any good, because only God can determine what is good.
Goodness should not be measured by human beings.
What is perceived to be good in worldly terms may not be perceived as good by God.
We need to be mindful of these differences in our marriage, so that we don't unwittingly fall prey to worldly standards.
Faithfulness - Godly faithfulness requires you to put your complete trust in God, and not in things of the world, yourself, or others.
For instance if your faith is not strong in God, you are more likely to give into any worldly temptations, and sever commitments and relationships.
In order for married couples to stay faithful to one another - they need to secure their faith in God and not stray from it.
Gentleness - Having a Godly gentle spirit means that we can conduct our behavior in an even-tempered manner, without flying off the handle.
Some men struggle with the idea of being gentle and confuse it with being weak.
But to be able to exercise control, gentleness requires a source of great strength and power in our relationships, and plies to both men and women.
Self-control - Godly self-control is only accomplished through the power of God and not oneself.
When we try to exert self-control without God's help, we are more likely to lose a grip on it, because we have no 'mastery over' it, and you are conducting it purely on self-will power.
It's like trying to stop a car when the brakes have failed.
Godly self-control is paramount in a marriage because it could prevent either partner from behaving in a way that is detrimental to the marriage.
If we live by these fruits in our marriage, we will reap a bountiful harvest of God's blessing upon our marriage, and grow together as a couple.
Here a few definitions of the nine fruits that makes up the Fruit of the Spirit.
Love - We often fall into the trap of thinking that loving someone enough will sustain a marriage, but love has many disguises, i.
e.
we can love our spouse by the fruits of the spirit, or by the flesh.
Loving our spouse in the flesh means that we have certain expectations, for instance you expect something in return, and the love is self-seeking love, to fulfill your desires and your needs.
Loving in the fruits of the spirit is a Godly way to express love.
It's an agape love.
Agape love means loving the other person unconditionally, loving the unlovable and undeserving, and blessing them in abundance r no matter how resentful you feel.
Make God your first love, Ephesians 6:21.
Joy - True joy represents itself through the grace of God.
The wonderful thing about experiencing joy by God's grace is that we can find it, and feel it in whatever difficult experiences we may be going through.
Whereas when we seek to have joy in the flesh, we are looking for human-based joy, and this type of joy is based on high expectations and personal fulfillment.
Human joy is fleeting, doesn't last.
Godly joy is divine and everlasting.
Peace- isn't just about getting away from all the hustle and bustle of daily life, i.
e.
such as a nagging spouse, or noisy neighbors.
It's about being at a state of peace with God.
When you are in a state of peace with God, you are equipped with inner calmness and tranquility, so whatever is going on around you is lessened.
Godly peace dampens down chaos, and helps you to deal with irritating and annoying situations in a calmly manner.
Whereas - when we seek peace in the flesh - we are more likely to scream and shout at a nagging spouse and slam the door shut in their face to get the peace we want.
Hence, we don't resolve any conflict in our marriage.
Patience - Godly patience is long-suffering and enduring.
It means that we won't just cave in and give up when cracks in our marriage appear.
Without Godly patience, we won't take time to listen, wait for time to heal, and for God's direction in our marital conflict.
So we act on our fleshly gut instincts, and flee the relationship in haste, instead of waiting for God's guidance, and inevitably miss the chance to receive his counsel.
Kindness - There are 2 definitions of kindness.
1.
Human kindness, where we tend to expect kindness in return, and 2.
Godly kindness, where we are not being kind to get something in return, but it's God's nature within us that is kind.
When we express Godly kindness to our spouse, i.
e.
we buy our husband a gift that will be useful to him while he is working away on business, and then get upset because he hasn't returned the kind gesture.
Being kind in a Godly manner is a means of 'blessing' someone, and not expecting something back.
Goodness - Godly goodness comes from God, not man.
One will only find true goodness by being 'fully content with God'.
Goodness without God can't be any good, because only God can determine what is good.
Goodness should not be measured by human beings.
What is perceived to be good in worldly terms may not be perceived as good by God.
We need to be mindful of these differences in our marriage, so that we don't unwittingly fall prey to worldly standards.
Faithfulness - Godly faithfulness requires you to put your complete trust in God, and not in things of the world, yourself, or others.
For instance if your faith is not strong in God, you are more likely to give into any worldly temptations, and sever commitments and relationships.
In order for married couples to stay faithful to one another - they need to secure their faith in God and not stray from it.
Gentleness - Having a Godly gentle spirit means that we can conduct our behavior in an even-tempered manner, without flying off the handle.
Some men struggle with the idea of being gentle and confuse it with being weak.
But to be able to exercise control, gentleness requires a source of great strength and power in our relationships, and plies to both men and women.
Self-control - Godly self-control is only accomplished through the power of God and not oneself.
When we try to exert self-control without God's help, we are more likely to lose a grip on it, because we have no 'mastery over' it, and you are conducting it purely on self-will power.
It's like trying to stop a car when the brakes have failed.
Godly self-control is paramount in a marriage because it could prevent either partner from behaving in a way that is detrimental to the marriage.
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