Many women ask whether a marriage is worth saving after their husbands cheat. The simplest answer to that is to ask whether or not they would believe the marriage worth saving if they didn't know their husbands had been cheating.
Ignorance really can be bliss in many situations. Of course, if you took a survey of 100 women and asked whether they would want to know about a husband's affair or not the results would at least 80% of the women wanting to know.
The odd thing is that despite the majority of women wanting to know the knowledge doesn't seem to empower them. In fact, it seems to instantly strip them of the power they had until the moment they found out about the affair.
So, did you believe you had a happy relationship before you knew your husband was cheating? Does a cheating husband change the fact that you thought your marriage was happy? It can't possibly take away the happiness only your conception of that happiness.
Chances are if you dig down deep you'll find that there were signs of a discontented husband long before the cheating happened.
Here are a few things to remember as you decide whether or not to try to make your marriage work.
Why bother saving your marriage? Because it was probably a pretty decent marriage with the average ups and downs until the moment you knew about the affair.
1)He didn't stop loving you the minute he started cheating on you. It's really true. His affair had little, if anything at all, to do with how he feels about you. This is something that was all about filling that immediate need.
2)It may really have only been a one time thing for him. Cheating isn't always about having a relationship with another person. Sometimes it's just about getting a need met that isn't being met currently. Once that need is met (some people call it an itch being scratched) he came back to his senses and stepped right into a huge firestorm at home.
3)What he did with her will not define you or your relationship with him unless you allow it to. Only the two of you can define your relationship. Do not allow something like this to change your definition of your marriage or alter how you perceive the health and happiness of your marriage.
4)You weren't robbed of power when he had the affair. The only thing that has changed is your perception of the power you've always had in the relationship. Do not give power to the other woman that she shouldn't have.
Ignorance really can be bliss in many situations. Of course, if you took a survey of 100 women and asked whether they would want to know about a husband's affair or not the results would at least 80% of the women wanting to know.
The odd thing is that despite the majority of women wanting to know the knowledge doesn't seem to empower them. In fact, it seems to instantly strip them of the power they had until the moment they found out about the affair.
So, did you believe you had a happy relationship before you knew your husband was cheating? Does a cheating husband change the fact that you thought your marriage was happy? It can't possibly take away the happiness only your conception of that happiness.
Chances are if you dig down deep you'll find that there were signs of a discontented husband long before the cheating happened.
Here are a few things to remember as you decide whether or not to try to make your marriage work.
Why bother saving your marriage? Because it was probably a pretty decent marriage with the average ups and downs until the moment you knew about the affair.
1)He didn't stop loving you the minute he started cheating on you. It's really true. His affair had little, if anything at all, to do with how he feels about you. This is something that was all about filling that immediate need.
2)It may really have only been a one time thing for him. Cheating isn't always about having a relationship with another person. Sometimes it's just about getting a need met that isn't being met currently. Once that need is met (some people call it an itch being scratched) he came back to his senses and stepped right into a huge firestorm at home.
3)What he did with her will not define you or your relationship with him unless you allow it to. Only the two of you can define your relationship. Do not allow something like this to change your definition of your marriage or alter how you perceive the health and happiness of your marriage.
4)You weren't robbed of power when he had the affair. The only thing that has changed is your perception of the power you've always had in the relationship. Do not give power to the other woman that she shouldn't have.
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