I don't consider myself an expert on child rearing by any means, but I have cared for many kids in my day starting from when I was 13 years old.
Naturally, as a teenager I wasn't the epitome of discipline myself so those years were spent as a training period of sorts-one that convinced me overwhelmingly that I did not want children of my own.
Don't get me wrong I love kids but, the 24/7 of it is a bit more than I'm willing to handle for the most part.
I love my freedom and anything that limits my ability to come and go as I please is simply not going to work.
The point is, that even though I am not a biological mother I have had success in dealing with youth as long as I've made a solid commitment to the task and to the child.
Here's my toddler story: As previously stated I decided early on that I didn't want children of my own but, deep down inside I wished for a son.
When my Godson was born my wish was granted.
You see I became his caregiver while his mom went to school.
Five days a week for 8-10 hours a day I was his "mom".
He was 15 months old when this began.
This is where it could have gotten ugly...
I have to say that this boy was amazing right from the start.
So strong-he could hold a full 8 ounce bottle of milk in one hand.
He could sit up by himself when just a few months old.
Anyway, I knew that I would have my hands full with him if I didn't get him into a routine of some sort and establish some ground rules up front.
I implemented the plan immediately * We went outside everyday-even just to the store or walk around the block.
* No more than an hour and a half of television * He took a nap around the same time everyday * No stroller- he walked Going outside was never an issue.
He was always ready to go with a slight twist.
We had to get on the (subway) train.
He loves trains.
Sometimes this was a problem when I didn't have an unlimited ride card.
He would pitch a fit but, would quickly forget about it as soon as we got in the park and he could run and jump and climb.
I let him climb as high as he wanted to.
I'd be right behind him in case he got into trouble but I let him do all of the work so his muscles would get stronger.
That's why I never used a stroller.
I'm not saying that strollers should be completely abandoned but it is my firm belief that we do our toddlers a disservice by keeping them in them for extended periods.
Some situations where the caregiver is elderly or in some other way physically limited so they can't chase a child or carry when necessary is a different story.
Long journeys call for a stroller for sure but, as much as possible I feel like the child should be utilizing their muscles and being as physically active as possible.
The theory is simple: Tire their little behinds out! Let them romp and play as hard as they can.
A set schedule is key.
Kids need boundaries and schedules.
At that age they have great memories and are looking for consistency.
Once you establish a pattern where they can expect certain things to happen at a certain time or in a certain order that's half of the battle.
Our routine would go something like this: * Wash and dress * Have breakfast * Got outside (ride the train one stop and walk to a park) * Come inside and have a bath * Eat lunch while watching Blues Clues, Dora, and one more show-no more than an hour and a half.
* TV off and nap Nap time was a little hairy at first.
Kids don't want to miss anything and naturally try to fight off sleep when they need it so he'd be cranky and very combative.
Since he was so strong he would actually hurt me with his little fists and even threw my prescription glasses out of whack a few times by pulling them off of my face.
Fortunately, I figured out that part of the routine would be to remove the glasses as well as my earrings before putting him in my lap because, you see, I sang him to sleep every day.
He'd even remind me if I forgot to remove anything.
Children naturally respond to music and if they are in your lap they are also next to your heartbeat which is a soothing sound that they remember from the womb.
Combined with the sound and vibration from the human voice the stage is set for sleep.
This is what cemented our bond, I think.
Because I took the time to sing to him and show him a little extra bit of love instead of just laying him down somewhere to fall asleep on his own made a deep impression on him.
Kids need to feel safe-especially when they're about to lose consciousness.
This works with little babies also.
If you hold a child upright as if you're burping them and rock slowly if you're seated or maybe dance with them slowly if you're standing while humming.
I've put many a cranky baby to sleep this way.
It never fails! The rhythm of the motion combined with the heartbeat and vibration of your voice is a natural sedative because, again, it simulates the conditions that they remember from being in the womb.
They feel safe enough to fall asleep and you can get a much needed break.
Naturally, as a teenager I wasn't the epitome of discipline myself so those years were spent as a training period of sorts-one that convinced me overwhelmingly that I did not want children of my own.
Don't get me wrong I love kids but, the 24/7 of it is a bit more than I'm willing to handle for the most part.
I love my freedom and anything that limits my ability to come and go as I please is simply not going to work.
The point is, that even though I am not a biological mother I have had success in dealing with youth as long as I've made a solid commitment to the task and to the child.
Here's my toddler story: As previously stated I decided early on that I didn't want children of my own but, deep down inside I wished for a son.
When my Godson was born my wish was granted.
You see I became his caregiver while his mom went to school.
Five days a week for 8-10 hours a day I was his "mom".
He was 15 months old when this began.
This is where it could have gotten ugly...
I have to say that this boy was amazing right from the start.
So strong-he could hold a full 8 ounce bottle of milk in one hand.
He could sit up by himself when just a few months old.
Anyway, I knew that I would have my hands full with him if I didn't get him into a routine of some sort and establish some ground rules up front.
I implemented the plan immediately * We went outside everyday-even just to the store or walk around the block.
* No more than an hour and a half of television * He took a nap around the same time everyday * No stroller- he walked Going outside was never an issue.
He was always ready to go with a slight twist.
We had to get on the (subway) train.
He loves trains.
Sometimes this was a problem when I didn't have an unlimited ride card.
He would pitch a fit but, would quickly forget about it as soon as we got in the park and he could run and jump and climb.
I let him climb as high as he wanted to.
I'd be right behind him in case he got into trouble but I let him do all of the work so his muscles would get stronger.
That's why I never used a stroller.
I'm not saying that strollers should be completely abandoned but it is my firm belief that we do our toddlers a disservice by keeping them in them for extended periods.
Some situations where the caregiver is elderly or in some other way physically limited so they can't chase a child or carry when necessary is a different story.
Long journeys call for a stroller for sure but, as much as possible I feel like the child should be utilizing their muscles and being as physically active as possible.
The theory is simple: Tire their little behinds out! Let them romp and play as hard as they can.
A set schedule is key.
Kids need boundaries and schedules.
At that age they have great memories and are looking for consistency.
Once you establish a pattern where they can expect certain things to happen at a certain time or in a certain order that's half of the battle.
Our routine would go something like this: * Wash and dress * Have breakfast * Got outside (ride the train one stop and walk to a park) * Come inside and have a bath * Eat lunch while watching Blues Clues, Dora, and one more show-no more than an hour and a half.
* TV off and nap Nap time was a little hairy at first.
Kids don't want to miss anything and naturally try to fight off sleep when they need it so he'd be cranky and very combative.
Since he was so strong he would actually hurt me with his little fists and even threw my prescription glasses out of whack a few times by pulling them off of my face.
Fortunately, I figured out that part of the routine would be to remove the glasses as well as my earrings before putting him in my lap because, you see, I sang him to sleep every day.
He'd even remind me if I forgot to remove anything.
Children naturally respond to music and if they are in your lap they are also next to your heartbeat which is a soothing sound that they remember from the womb.
Combined with the sound and vibration from the human voice the stage is set for sleep.
This is what cemented our bond, I think.
Because I took the time to sing to him and show him a little extra bit of love instead of just laying him down somewhere to fall asleep on his own made a deep impression on him.
Kids need to feel safe-especially when they're about to lose consciousness.
This works with little babies also.
If you hold a child upright as if you're burping them and rock slowly if you're seated or maybe dance with them slowly if you're standing while humming.
I've put many a cranky baby to sleep this way.
It never fails! The rhythm of the motion combined with the heartbeat and vibration of your voice is a natural sedative because, again, it simulates the conditions that they remember from being in the womb.
They feel safe enough to fall asleep and you can get a much needed break.
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