Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

My Wife is Always Mean to Me! Why She Acts This Way

We all cycle through good moods and bad ones. Those changes can be attributed to almost anything including stress at work, worrying over money and even a fall out with a friend. Individuals who have been married for any length of time know that sometimes our spouse happens to be the person who is forced to accept the bad moods. We tend to take our frustrations out on those closest to us and most friends will quickly take leave if they feel you're being grumpy or disrespectful. That's not the case with a partner. They are, in some ways, forced to listen to a barrage of negative comments and often they feel unsure of how to respond. This is what happens in many marriages when the wife is consistently in a bad mood. That can easily manifest itself into a mean attitude. Any husband on the receiving end of that is going to tire of it, and his wife, fairly quickly. If this sounds like the script to your life at the moment, take heart. Understanding why your wife acts in this manner is the first step towards dealing with it in a way that will give you the peace you need and will get your marriage back into a more respectful, caring place.

Every woman is unique in her own way but there are several common reasons why a wife takes on a negative demeanor, including:

She's unhappy with herself. Life has a way of flying by and before we know it, we're middle-aged, staring down the barrel of retirement and we haven't accomplished any of the things we thought we would when we were a bright, young, twenty-something. Just as men hit a point that is often described as "the mid-life crisis," many women do the very same thing. If your wife is unhappy with who she is at this point in her life that can easily manifest itself into anger that is directed squarely at you.

She's harbouring resentment from a past conflict. No one can hold a grudge as well as a wife. As a woman, I can easily attest to that fact. Women tend to be more emotional in general and if something is said by a husband in the heat of an argument moment, it can burn a hole in a woman's memory forever. Negative comments that are initiated through conflict can impact a woman in a very strong way. Those feelings of resentment can easily manifest themselves into anger. Your wife may be so upset with you over something you said to her months ago, that she just can't let it go. She's allowing her anger to boil over to the point that her main goal is simply to emotionally hurt you, in whatever way she can.

She's not satisfied with the marriage. Marriage is very much a journey. If you've been with your wife for some time you know that there are times when the journey is rewarding and fulfilling and other times when it becomes an endless struggle. Your wife's anger may be related to her feeling that the marriage isn't what it needs to be. Every woman wants to have an emotional connection with her husband that she can be proud of and that she embraces. If you two aren't as close as you once were, and she's feeling frustrated by that, she may start to take that out on you in the form of disparaging remarks or distance.

Being honest with yourself and the state of your marriage is the key to understanding why your wife is always mean to you. It takes a strong man to face what's going on in his marriage. If you're intent on helping your wife move her mood into a more positive place, focus your emotional energy on understanding her more. You'll both appreciate the enormous effort you're putting into your relationship.
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