Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Is It Hard to Find Time to Be Alone Together? Try a Lunch Date With Your Spouse



While a "let's do lunch" get together is often used as a getting-to-know-you date for singles, for married couples, having a date lunch with your spouse is a perfect way to have a change of pace and to spend quality time together.

Making time to be alone with each other a few times each month is important. You've read that in many articles about having a successful marriage. Unfortunately, it just doesn't happen for numerous married couples.

 

Laura Vanderkam: "... modern couples spend less time with each other than they did in decades past. In 1975, married parents spent 12.4 hours with each other, without the kids, each week. By 2000, that was down to 9.1 hours ... Every marriage expert tells couples that time spent together, interacting as adults, is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. And yet the vast majority of couples don’t do it much."
Source: Laura Vanderkam. "Date Night: Why Doesn't it Happen?" LauraVanderkam.com. 2/13/2013.

"Husbands and wives admit they are lucky to just make it through the day, and if both parties work forget about any real quality time! This can be the start of trouble for even the strongest of marriages ... The importance of date night is a continuing theme with successful married couples." 
Source: "The Why's and How's of Date Night." TwoofUs.org. 

Reasons to Have Lunch Dates
  • Finances, time available without kids, babysitting issues, etc. are often cited as the reasons couples don't date. Lunch dates could be the answer. 


  • When your children are young and in school, arrange date lunches with your spouse. It is usually easier to meet somewhere for lunch once a week than it is to try and have a dinner date.
  • Meals in restaurants at noon are usually less expensive and often less crowded.
  • You won't have to pay for a babysitter if your kids are in school. 
  • You're not tired and worn down from a busy day.
  • It's casual so there's no need to get all dressed up.
  • A lunch date is often more relaxing than a dinner date. 

Lunch Date Ideas
  • Don't always meet at a restaurant. 
  • On nice days, have a simple picnic with sandwiches, fresh fruit, and bottled water, and meet at a park or on a beach. 
  • Or ... you could have a gourmet picnic. For me, that would be cheese and crackers, really good chocolate, and wine.
  • You can take advantage of food trucks if you don't want to have to pack for a picnic.
  • Make it a strolling lunch. Pick an area with a nice pathway and views and talk and walk. Stop at a pretty spot with a bench and enjoy your lunch.
  • Depending on how much time the two of you have for a lunch date, you could go to an afternoon movie or explore a part of your town where you've not spent much time. Maybe you can find a museum, an art gallery, an aquarium, a concert in the park, window shop at some quirky little stores, a historical house tour, locales with a beautiful atmosphere, little hideaway places with an intimate setting.


Note: Bob and I had lunch dates for many years when our kids were in school. Once we became empty nesters, we still enjoyed going out for lunch together.
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